tryst - an ashaangi ff

xviii

The next time Sivaangi saw Ashwin, he was tired. There was no other way to describe his state except for tired. His eyes were red, bags underneath them, and his arms were limp on his side. Nevertheless, he gave her a strained smile, the light quite not reaching his eyes. Sivaangi didn't know how to ask him about this, should she tread lightly or should she burst it out? Ashwin had always been open to her but she didn't want to overstep the line.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of his phone going off. She glanced towards the coffee table and saw "Amma" flash on his phone screen. To her utter surprise, Ashwin looked at the phone for a moment and shifted his gaze elsewhere ignoring the call. Now, Sivaangi was growing concerned. He never declined his mother's calls. It was a sort of escape from all the busyness.

She hesitantly sat next to him and on instinct Ashwin wrapped an arm around her shoulders, allowing Sivaangi to rest her head on his chest. They stayed like that for a moment, before Sivaangi broke the silence, "Are you okay?'. Ashwin's gaze flicked over to her eyes for a moment before he slowly nodded.

Sivaangi sat up and took his hand in hers. "Poi solringa. Romba dull ah irukinga." A small smile came upon Ashwins face and he brought up their entwined hands to his lips and placed a feathery kiss on the back of her hand. "Ennaku onnum illa Rowdy."

Sivaangi stared at him unconvinced and shifted closer to him. She took his large face in her small hands, her fingers brushing against his scalp. She brought him closer to her, and cradled him in her chest like a mother would her child, and spoke softly. "Neenga mattum enna pathukita pothuma, naanum ungala paathuka venama. I'm here for better or worse. Tell me what happened."

Ashwin sighed and basked in her arms for a moment. All his life he'd been so used to dealing with his issues on his own, so much so that he never looked for someone to confide in. Loneliness had become second nature to him. He lifted his head to look up at her and let out a long sigh, "Dates prechana. Loner music video shoot and movie shoot clash aaguthu. Loner oda production house dates ah matha matingaranga, Pugazh oda shoot ah prepone pannom because avan kitta later ah dates illa. Ippo movie shoot oda dates ah matha mudiyadhu. Rendu producer en manda mela eri okanthukaranga. Tired ah iruku, oru varama seriya thoongala. Athu pothathu nu ippo marbadiyum Covid test edukanaum. Ithellam vida, unna romba miss panen." he finished solemnly.

Sivaangi held his hand and spoke quietly, "Loner shoot first mudinga, aparam Covid test edukalam. Quarantine mudinchathu aparam, movie shoot start panunga. Athukulla Pugazh anna oda shoot mudinchidum. Covid test pathi kavala padathinga, ethuva irunthalam naa iruken. Ungala paathuka venama?" she said with a smile, playing with his hands absent-mindedly.

Ashwin gaped at her, it seemed as though the solutions to all his problems were right there, but they all made sense once it came from her. He couldn't describe the relief he felt at that moment, he had someone to share his problems, fears. Someone who he could fall back to anytime and she would catch him. He felt so relieved, that he felt himself tear up.

He blinked away the threatening tears and leaned to place his forehead against her. "Thank you, Sivaangi. I-I don't know what I'd do without you. Oru varama onnume puriyum irunthen, 5 minutes la ellam seri aana mathiri iruku. Nee kooda irunthale etho clarity iruku. I'm so thankful, really." he finished, with a staggered breath.

Sivaangi said nothing bu smile at him and kiss his forehead. She pulled away and beamed at him, "Thanks lam ethuku. Athan sonene, for better or worse." Ashwin couldn't help but kiss her, completely enamored by her sudden display of composure.

"For better or worse," he murmured against her lips.

Sivaangi groaned when she stared at her phone. It was one of the employees at Media Masons, messaging her to pick up his call. She sighed and put the phone down, trudging up the steps of her home pulling the exhaustion of the week behind her.