Hesitations (JenLisKook) [Completed]

Chapter 17

Lisa's POV

It's been a month, a month without Jungkook by my side. I can still feel the pain. I can't even imagine how I managed to survived each passing days.

I have lots of what ifs. what if I just let him that night?what if I gave him a chance?what if I didn't broke up with him? Those what ifs bothered me everytime I'm alone, that's why I always asked Jennie to stay and I'm very thankful to her for taking care of me since that night.

I miss Jungkook so much. it's been three weeks since the last time I saw him. He looked so broken that time, but I am too. I can't even face him without feeling scared of him.

He used to be my comfort zone, he used to be my home and sunshine. who would have thought that our almost perfect love story will end up just like this?I still cried most of the nights when I'm in the bathroom or alone in my room. I don't want to burden Jennie more. She's been through a lot also because of me.

Jungkook's mom called me one time, she said that Jungkook confessed what he did to me and they're very sorry in behalf of him.Her mom cried, she's begging me to forgive Jungkook because she can feel that they're losing him slowly but I told her I'm sorry too but I can't for now. I almost lost myself too and I don't have my parents beside me to cheer me up. and until now, my parents didn't know the reason of our break up.

She said she understood me but she's still hoping for the day to come that I'll be able to forgive his son. She keep on apologizing and she said I can still visit her and her husband, that I am still very much welcome to their house. I just agreed and told her that I hope time will heal everything.

I'm video calling my parents every night now. They didn't asked the reason of our break up because they said they knew it's not a simple reason, that we used to be inseparable. so they gave me all the time I needed to be ready.I thanked them for that.

In the past month, I've learned that I shouldn't depend on one person, that my life doesn't only rotating in one's world. It's very hard for me that Jungkook's my first at everything-first best friend, first crush, first boy friend, first hug, first kiss, first love and even my first break up. To him, I gave up my virginity. To him, I gave all of me.He has been a big part in my life,that my life almost belonged to him.

It's hard, but I'm getting better. I'm passed with the bitterness and in denial stage. so I'm on my way to acceptance and moving on stage now.

Jennie's been a big part of this progress in me. She never left me, she's always at my side. She's been my rock, my shoulder to lean on, my blanket in every cold nights, my pillow, she became my best friend that I can never imagine to have.How can someone not related to you, give you all of her time?she's unbelievable and unreal.

Rosé and Jisoo helped me a lot too, they offered their home to be my sweet escape. They always accompany me and Jennie. They always brought us food.take not: free food.I smiled unconsciously with that thought.