Waterfalls || Yeonbin

chapter 31: love

Continuing on September 10, 1940

"Maybe the fact that I'm breathing is the problem."

My eyes widened, suddenly getting angry that he even would think about that. I pulled at his wrist a bit aggressively, making him turn to me as I said through my teeth, "Don't you dare say that..." We locked eyes, clenching my jaw before I added, "I know you're broken, and I understand why, but don't you ever talk like that. I know damn well that you're not going to give up that easy, and I'm not either."

I didn't realize how close I had gotten to him until I felt his warm breath against my lips, smelling the whiskey he had been drinking. It was so strong that it made me fear how many glasses of it he's had. He kept staring at me as his bottom lip began quivering again, finally losing all control and letting a sob escape. He looked away from me, burying his head into his arms on the table, crying like he didn't have the strength to hold it in anymore.

I hope he wasn't crying from me. I think I might've been a bit stern when I was speaking, but I wouldn't take any of it back. I love him way too much to support him thinking like that. I hurried to get up from my chair, kneeling down next to Yeonjun and hugging him from the side. I felt the tears streaming down my cheeks as well, hurrying to say, "I'm right here and I swear, I'm not leaving."

He wasn't able to respond, beginning to tremble as he continued to sob. I reached my hand up, gently rubbing his chest as I said, "Jun? Hey, come here." Wanting to hold him better.

His movements looked heavy and sluggish, sliding himself off the table and turning his body to hold onto me instead. He dropped his head into the crook of my neck, his arms wrapping around my shoulders. I was able to hold him closer to me, feeling his hands trembling against my back. He kept muttering out incoherent words between sobs, assuming they were all about his trip to London and what he was feeling. I just kept rubbing his back, whispering to him, "I know. I know." Even though I couldn't understand what he was saying.

I could feel his warm tears on my neck as he cried for ages with no end in sight. My heart was hurting, the pain in my chest was so large that I barely knew what to do. But I wasn't who I was concerned about; Yeonjun is my only focus. I've never even seen him cry, and the first time I do, he's so broken. It's like something burst inside of him, unable to control his feelings anymore. And he's not even the type of person to openly talk about how he feels; neither of us are. I guess the fact that he's most likely drunk at this point doesn't help.

I tried to pick his head up when he couldn't breathe properly, his quick and short breaths making me nervous about the state it could put him in. He hesitantly pulled away from me, his eyes puffy and red while his face was wet with tears. I quickly brought my hands up, holding his cheeks to keep his head up. His eyes locked with mine, smelling the whiskey on his breath as I said, "Breathe... Please, just breathe."

I tried to help him, counting his breaths to relax him. He needed to slow down. I wish I could just stop time for him so he could calm down properly, but I couldn't. I pulled his head towards me, making our foreheads press together as I whispered, "ssshhhh... Everything's alright." I kept gently sliding my thumbs under his puffy eyes, his breathing beginning to go back to normal.

It took him a few more minutes before he fully calmed down, his sobs turning into sniffles. I got lost in his eyes for a bit, coming back into reality when he whispered, "I-I'm sorry..." He sniffled again, dryly swallowing before adding, "I'm s-so sorry."

"It's alright..." I quickly said, not wanting him to get the wrong idea. I know he's not usually like this and I know he's broken; everyone has their ups and downs, "Let's get you to bed, hmm?" I asked, thinking I can just clean the broken glass tomorrow. That wasn't what I cared about anyway.