Waterfalls || Yeonbin

chapter 40: eternal

January 23, 1941

Jisung dragged me to the canteen, knowing I haven't eaten in a while. I know it isn't healthy, but I'm broken. Utterly broken. I haven't slept for days, constantly crying like a child. I haven't spoken to Yeonjun and he barely checks on our progress anymore, even though we have a deadline to meet soon. The bags under my eyes were prevalent and I didn't care much about my hair.

Jisung sat me down, sternly saying, "I'm getting you food, and you're eating it. End of story." Before walking to the queue.

I didn't respond, quietly staring at my lap in thought. I've tried to talk to Yeonjun, but he won't listen to me. He would understand if I told him the entire story, but he won't even spare me a glance. I've left flowers on his doorstep, but he just rolls his eyes when he reads the notecard attached and slams the door. I don't know how to get through to him, so I eventually just stopped trying. I guess he needs space, but all I want to do is smother him with kisses. I would die to just be near him again.

Jisung came back over to me, placing a bowl of pasta in front of me along with a fork, "Eat."

I cautiously picked up my utensil as he sat down across from me. I quietly started eating, but Jisung couldn't help himself, "What happened with Yeonjun? You two look completely miserable."

I sighed, just deciding to tell him the story. Even though he knows that Joan and I are engaged, he doesn't know the full story about what actually happened; the same story I've been trying to tell Yeonjun for the last five days.

Jisung widened his eyes at me, not quite knowing how to respond to everything I had just told him. I took it for the worst, placing my elbow on the table and dropping my head into my hand. I felt like I wanted to cry, but it's like I had no more tears left in the system. After what's happened the last few days, I've been a mess. But I deserve it.

"You royally fucked up..." Jisung finally spoke, "Why did you think proposing would be a good idea?"

I sighed, "I know. I thought that was the only way we could get Joan to come back here..." I slid my fingers through my hair, not caring so much that it's messy, "He won't even talk to me."

"Does he know what really happened?" He asked, trying to make me feel a bit better.

I shook my head, "I tried to tell him, but he won't listen to me."

"You cannot lose hope..." He said, making me pick my head up a bit to look at him, "You two love each other, and nothing is stronger than that. Soobin, you're broken, and Yeonjun is too... I'm sorry, but it's your responsibility to make this right, or you're going to lose him forever."

My lips parted at his words. Lose Yeonjun? Forever? No... No. This wasn't supposed to happen. We're supposed to grow old together.

I pondered for a moment before responding, "Can you ask him to meet me at the pond? Just tell him that if he doesn't want to stay after hearing what really happened, I'll accept it."

Jisung sighed, hesitating for a moment, "Yeah... I'll bring him there during supper break."

. . . . . . . . . .

I quietly waited, sitting on the bench near the pond. This abandoned path has helped me a little bit these last few days, and hopefully, it could help me one last time. I shivered as I looked at the pond, the top of it frozen over from the winter weather, but it still looked peaceful. It's like the tranquil pool Yeonjun always talks about, but this has no current on the surface; the epitome of peace.