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" If I were you, Evelyn, I would put that gun down and stand back. "
Her sickening voice traveled to my ears. I turned around to look at her dead in the eyes. She gulped and cowered a little at the direct eye contact. Keeping my eyes locked...
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" I don't wanna let her go, Eve. " I could here my own voice breaking at the end of that sentence.
It hurt so much. Thinking about her, talking about her again after four years, it fucking hurt. An image of Clara's innocent smiling face surfaced in front of my closed eyes and I clenched my arms tighter around Evelyn.
Eve. The feeling of her arms around me as she drew small comforting circles in my back, was the only thing that was keeping me on the brink of reality right now.
Mine and Clara's parents were really close family friend, so me and her, we were basically raised together as siblings. She was my responsibility. It was my duty to keep her safe. But I failed. The look on her mother's face when the doctors had delivered us the tragic news was something I'll never forget as long as I live.
It wasn't your fault Ryan. You couldn't have known. Evelyn's words came back to me. They were the same words that my parents, Clara's parents and all those shitty therapists had repeated to me for years, over and over again. I never listened though. I knew it was my fault that she wasn't with us right now.
Are you okay? Three little words. Ten letters. One small sentence. It could've saved her. It could've saved my Clara.
I felt Evelyn guide us to the central rounded wall of the observatory and gently push me down in a sitting position. Nothing around me was making sense right now. All I really felt was the unbearable emotional pain in the core of my heart. It felt like someone had stabbed me.
If this is how it felt after finally talking about your worst nightmare, that had haunted you for years, then I didn't want Evelyn to share hers with me.
Evelyn sat next to me and lifted her hand to run her fingers gently through my hair. Her touch was calming and I was thankful for her presence. She was the only thing keeping me sane right now. She gently pulled my head in her lap and wrapped her arms around me.
Her warmth surrounded me and a blanket of calm fell over my entire body. My heart slowly returned to it's normal speed. I could breath again. I lifted my weak arms and loosely wrapped them around her waist.
"I'm sorry, " I hiccuped slightly. I turned my head a little to look at her and she smiled an angelic smile back at me. " It's gonna be okay." She whispered while gently massaging my scalp. I sighed peacefully.
I was wrong before. It did hurt like a bitch, but it felt good to finally share my pain with someone who really understood. Someone who understood what it was like to loose family.
I pulled her closer to me, if that was even possible in our awkward yet surprisingly comfortable position, and buried my nose in her side.
" Thank you, Ryan, " I looked up at her with a confused look on my face. " Thank you for trusting me, " She clarified and a slow tired smile appeared on my face. To be honest, I had no idea why I told her. I hadn't told a soul about this before.
