(Asta x Noelle) Happiness is a Butterfly

Chapter Thirteen: Confiding & Kissing

Asta didn't listen to Yuno. He couldn't. He was too confused to listen to him. The whole situation he was in was complex and complicated. Of course, he had figured out that he liked Noelle...but then again did he? Maybe it was the doubt or contradiction in him, but he just didn't know. Love was confusing, maybe the most confusing emotion and feeling out there. It's a wonderful and rewarding experience but there's so much difficulty encompassing love. It's so arduous, especially to discern your feelings, wants, and needs.

Not just was love difficult, but it was often confused with other emotions like jealousy, lust, infatuation, comfort, boredom. He didn't want to confuse the feelings he held for Noelle. Despite any and everything that had gone ok between the two in their past, he still cared about her. He wished and wanting the best for her. He didn't want to break her heart or hurt her, no more than what he already did. How did he know he wasn't excited, or stunned, or sticking with her because she was familiar and comfortable?

With that all in mind, Asta couldn't take it upon himself to push their wedding back. He had already pushed it back extremely much, anyway. Doing that to Mimosa wouldn't be fair, or open and appropriate. He didn't want to make the wrong decision. Having the both of them was clearly not an option, but breaking Mimosa's heart before clearly knowing whether or not he wants to be with her was wrong; entirely wrong. As he thought more superimposed of it, was he pushing their wedding back because of Noelle this whole entire time? When he proposed to Mimosa for the first time, Noelle was barely in mind.

He didn't care for Noelle, he didn't want Noelle, he didn't still love Noelle...or so it seemed. He was in love with Mimosa with no regrets...but self consciously, he just couldn't forget about her. Now, as he thought about it more and more and day after day he was only trying to get rid of her. To get rid of his past, her past, their past, their happy memories, their happiness, their love...he wanted to forget it all. He pushed their wedding back further and further because he couldn't make his mind up. Because he couldn't decide and realize that he wasn't over Noelle. And as the days passed and their wedding date became final, he was moving on, and forgetting, and gain happiness day by day until suddenly...

...Noelle showed up.

It was so weird and strange, just out of the blue. She showed up in front of him out of complete nowhere, after not seeing her for days, months, weeks, and years. And where did she show up? Nowhere strange, nowhere special, actually in a completely normal place; walking into a Starbucks. His eyes deceived him at first. He couldn't believe it, he didn't think it was true. There was a shimmer of hope and desire when he had that first glimpse of her silver hair. He didn't want to believe it, to have hope or anticipation that she was back. And then, almost simultaneously like how fairy tales are written, they both looked up. He'd never forget those words with that fake ass smile as she said Thank you before finally looking and seeing and noticing that this was him, that this was Asta.

His heart dropped as he realized that Noelle was in front of him. It was just him and her then, the only two in the world. Where he admired her beauty, and that same class and grace before also realizing that she had changed. And he didn't know what it was then, but he did know that something was different. He watched her more and more before realizing that she was faking it. Even her smiles. And so even though he assumed to be over her, he couldn't help himself from trying to make her happy again. To inviting her out, to hanging out with her.

Opening that closed door was the best thing he could've ever done.

It was also the worst thing though because now he was confused. Because now he didn't know if he loved Noelle or Mimosa, and if he loved both who did he love more, and who did he even see a future with? It was all so complex. He had let the days pass with this mind in thought and now here he was, the night of his bachelor party. He didn't know what was planned, and fairly enough he didn't care for what was planned.