(Asta x Noelle) Happiness is a Butterfly

Chapter Twenty-Two: My Feelings Confuse Me

Mimosa's words wouldn't leave Noelle's mind.

She even had a nightmare about them. Weird, right? It wasn't that she never had a nightmare before because she had plenty of those, instead, it was mainly the fact that such words Mimosa had spoken to her- or more like yelled to her, were bringing back such unwanted memories. Now that she thought more of it, maybe it was everything that was causing these torturous fantasies.

Her past hadn't been brought up in so long. No one asked about what happened to her, not even Nozel and Dorothy so it just seemed...awkward and weird to talk about. Especially she was still ashamed and burdened to be in that type of predicament, to begin with.

So was everything bringing back up her past? How everything turned out with Asta, Mimosa showing up, her being sad again...that must be the reason why...right?

She didn't know, everything, including her feelings at this point, was confusing.

All she wanted right now was Asta. She wanted to go back to how they used to be. Unawkward sessions of just being with one another, whether that was just watching television or simply talking. Small dates that weren't such a small matter to her, they were bigger than that, they were guarantees and showings of his love and affection for. She wanted him back in her grasp, to cuddle, to tease, to have, and to hold...

She wanted him timeless, endlessly, and forever.

Just as they promised.

They broke that promise. Twice.

They broke all of their promises actually.

Why?

She was...such an idiot.

She should've told Asta what happened. It may have ruined things, but would she have really known that unless she told him? Then again though, she didn't want to. Why couldn't he just understand that! A lot had happened to her, and she was sure that a lot happened to him too but why couldn't he just take into account that she wasn't ready? Then again though, she also had to take into account that he also had feelings and emotions that happened, and he had to protect himself too.

Noelle decided that she needed to talk to somebody. She couldn't figure out and do everything on her own. It was impossible. She knew that, so why did she keep trying to? She was a strong woman, and while doing everything on her own proved that it also didn't help her. She deserved to be vulnerable sometimes, and especially did she deserve that feeling with Asta.

The silver-haired girl pulls out her phone, quickly clicking on Nozel's contact and calling him. She was sure he'd be shocked. It wasn't every day she called him, what a bad sister she was. It rings a bit, but after a few seconds he picks up.

"Hey...are you busy?" she questions.

"No. Why?"

Noelle takes a deep breath. This was it. All of her mishaps and problems must've been leading up for this moment, for her to finally ask for help. She was scared, really scared. But wasn't this all a part of her journey? She couldn't grow without taking this next step in life. This was about moving on. How would she be able to do anything without taking this step? She tried to skip it, to jump over it and avoid it but that clearly didn't work. This...this was her final resort. She needed help, and deep down, she always knew that.

"Charlotte...is a therapist right? Can...can I get her number?"

"You actually want it?" Nozel asks, shocking lacing throughout his voice. He didn't mean to ask such a rude question, but he was pretty surprised. He had been suggesting this to his sister for so long and now she was finally planning on taking his advice. Honestly, he couldn't be prouder. "Nevermind...ignore that question. I didn't mean to be rude. I'll text you her number...is that all you need?" he asks.