Between Two Hearts

𝚆𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚊 𝚏𝚕𝚊𝚖𝚎 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚑𝚞𝚛𝚝:

PLEASE READ: Hello, I don't really talk about my personal life at all, but I just want to let it be known that the reason I wrote the one shot is just a coping skill for me because this is what I'm going through right now, I don't usually like making small imagines where I put Gaga as a bad person because I know she'd never do this to someone and I her so much but I just needed to write. Thank you 💕.
(Also, if you requested one-shot ideas, I'm currently working on them and they will be up shortly! Thank you for your patience. 🤍)
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I still find it hard to think about you.

I think about every moment we spent together, every 'meaningful' conversation we ever had, and every little feeling you gave me from even the slightest touches.

I think about it all, and for a moment, I feel like I've managed to fall for you again.

But I can't.

I won't.

My friends ask if I'm in a new relationship every time we meet to which my response is always a sweet chuckle as I mumble the words, "No, the last one almost killed me."

Of course I mean this metaphorically, but to some extent, I guess it's true.

You nearly killed me mentally with your constant lies, the way you had me wrapped around your finger, completely naive, is something I will never understand.

You were so confusing yet so enchanting.

I think the hardest pill to swallow is knowing that you will never love me the way I've loved you for so long.

And even when I thought you did, you didn't.

It wasn't until you broke my heart for a third time that I became numb.

I didn't feel much anymore.

Your so-called 'love' meant nothing anymore.

But every time I hear your name, I feel like the winds been knocked out of me and my words are caught in my throat as I try to ignore your presence, because if I look you in the eyes I might as well die. Because in your eyes I can see the naive little me that loved you so very much, so much so that she became blind.

But I guess that's my fault.

Or maybe it's yours for taking advantage of me.

But I think I still blame myself.

You see love has always had a hint of toxic, but you, you were all toxic.

Nothing more.

I remember when we met, I remember when I looked into your gorgeous and enchanting eyes as you offered to buy me a drink that night at the bar.

"And would a pretty girl like you allow me to buy you a drink?"

I still remember every thing you said that night.

My friends warned me about you, but to no surprise, I didn't listen.

"She's toxic y/n. A toxic lover will be a sick time in every single way. A toxic lover will drive you crazy in every sense. They are bad medication, yet as addictive as any potent drug. She is the drug, don't get addicted y/n."

I replay that line in my head a lot.

Each time I'm filled with pure anger as I do.