Chapter 4: Cause The Weight From All My Guilt Is All Too Much For Me To Carry

183 11 2
                                    

We lay there breathing heavily for what felt like eternity. A soft smile was ghosting Josh’s beautiful face as he lay beside me. The lights that were shining softly from the hotels outside lighting was shining in just the right places illuminating his face, if I was to die right now I could be happy. I took a deep breath and began to pull my underwear and dress back onto my body.

“That was amazing, we should do it again sometime,” Josh said. I smiled back at him as I pulled my shoe onto my foot.

“It was, but I can’t see it happening again,” I said as I reached for the door handle and smoothed down my hair before pulling Sam’s jacket back on, yeah, I forgot I still had that. Josh got out the other side of the car and walked around to where I was stood.

“Here give me your phone, I changed my number so you’ll need it, so I can contact you about Cass,” Josh handed me his phone and I changed the number under my name.

“I’ll call you,” I said before I headed away from him and towards the ladies toilets of the hotel to make sure it was not blatantly obvious that I had just fucked my ex-boyfriend.

I checked everywhere on my body and there were no visible signs, i.e make-up running, hair sticking up in all angles etc. There was a slight bruising on the left side of my neck but I could cover that with the jacket tonight and cover it when we get home with concealer. Sam hopefully wouldn’t notice.

I headed out of the toilets and walked straight into my fiancée. Oh shit.

“Where’ve you been, I’ve been looking everywhere for you?” He asked before he kissed me lightly on the lips and took my hand in his. I felt like shit. So I should. Sam’s a nice guy and Josh……….. well he too was a nice guy but…….ergh why where the male species so hard to understand? No you love Sam. Who’s looked after you and helped you raise a child? Sam. Not Josh.

“Oh I went to speak to Josh, then I went to the toilet, you know me and toilets,” I said.

“Yeah, you take 30 minutes at least,” He answered before laughing. You may think he’s kidding but he really isn’t. It may be weird but I have OCD about going to the toilet, don’t get me started, when I was at school, I used to stand and make sure all of my friends washed their hands in front of me before we left the toilets. Yeah I know, I probably am a bit psychotic. But it’s just ick (if you don’t mind the term).

“So, who’s left to go back to Dan’s?” I asked.

“Well, obviously, you, Sean and Matt Barnes, Max because he didn’t bring a car, he came in a taxi and Dan said he’d house him for the night, Chris Miller and Josh, because he was a wee bit too drunk to drive, sorry babe,” He said. You may think that that is a lot of people we have a Range Rover so that meant 7 seats, so we could take more people, oh joys. One of those people just had to be Josh, curse Sam for being so damn nice. How will I make it through the night? Alex, you and Sam are in your old room at Dan’s – there’s a lock on the door. Like he would try anything anyway, there being so many people. Alex, this is Josh he would try anything, you’ve just had sex in a car park remember. Oh God Sam looked at me as if I was mentally deranged.

“Are you ok?” He asked.

“Yeah, you go round up, Max and Chris, I’ll go and get, Josh, Matt and Sean,” I said, hoping that Sam would protest to me going to get Josh, he seemed wary earlier so he probably would.

“Ok I’ll meet you back at the car, oh and baby, can you drive, my head’s really killing me?” He asked. Poor Sam. I nodded, I didn’t want Sam to get worse driving back to Dan’s. I walked back to Josh’s car where the man himself was stood leaning against the front of the car.

“Hey, I thought you said it couldn’t happen again. I knew you’d be back for more, ready for round 2?” He smirked.

“In your dreams Franceschi, I’ve come over to tell you that you’ve got to go back to Dan’s tonight. Sam and myself are the only people out of our group of friends who are sober, therefore we are driving people back tonight, get your shit and come with me to find Matt and Sean,” I answered, looking guiltily down at my left hand where Sam’s ring sat mocking me on my ring finger.

“Oh ok then,” He laughed. We walked into the hotel found a rather drunk Matt Barnes, who I guess was attempting to twerk on Chris ‘Motionless’ Cerulli from Motionless in White. Poor Matt, drunk feeble Matt. What am I saying, poor Chris, he looked incredibly uncomfortable. I walked over to Chris, Matt and a laughing Ricky ‘Horror’ Olson, who was stood close by looking on as his friend was practically molested by Matt. I smiled and hugged Ricky. I hadn’t seen his wonderfull face in years. I meet him through Warped Tour with Bring Me The Horizon, after getting lost from my brother and Andy, tripping over my shoe and a rather large log that randomly appeared in front of me. Ricky found me face planting the floor, helped me up and helped me find a familiar face – in the end it happened to be Andy, MIW and BVB were pretty close in buses. I met the rest of MIW but became close friends with Ricky and too this day he is still one of my best friends, basically he’s the American Sean – I can tell him anything and he gives me advice and vice versa. Funnily enough both me and Ricky shared the same birthday – 1st September 1988, so we told everyone we were twins as we had so much in common and there was 3 minutes in between our births, me being the elder.

“Erm, Rick, what the fuck is Matt doing?” I questioned the only slightly taller man.

“Well, Matt is so drunk he doesn’t have a clue what’s going on so, he thought Chris was a woman, so he randomly started to grind or twerk if you will on him and Chris is now standing there just taking it, because he tried to move away when Matt first did it but Matthew here held onto him and did it even more,” Ricky laughed and I joined in with him.

“Matthew, come on, home time,” I said pulling Matt from Chris. Chris gave me a grateful look as I gave him a side hug and took hold of Matt properly as a sober Sean also walked over to me and grabbed Matt and carried him to the car park.

“Look mummy came to get me and now daddy’s carrying me,” Matt said as he placed a thumb in his mouth and rested his head on Sean’s chest.

“So, where are you guys going tonight?” I asked Chris and Ricky.

“Probably no-where Korel forgot to book our hotel so, yeah we’ll probably go to McDonalds and stay there all night,” Chris laughed.

“Hey we have room, I guess Dan wouldn’t mind you staying, I mean we can’t leave you out here,” I said.

“If you’re sure he won’t mind,” Ricky said. I nodded and walked towards the door, where Chris Miller, Sam, Max, Matt, Josh and Sean were waiting. Because there were more people we decided that since Max was still sober he’d drive Josh’s car back to Dan’s with Chris Miller and Josh, while I took Sam, Chris C, Ricky, Matt and Sean back in my car. We climbed in and I pulled away from the hotel, Max following directly behind us. I just hoped that everyone isn’t fast asleep when we get home, because Matt will wake them up because he’s a loud drunk. Although I do hope they are asleep because Matt will settle down quicker and that means I can go and get some well needed advice from Ricky, Sean and Mikey, or failing them, Matt Barnes himself. You never know he probably would forget all of this by tomorrow morning.

_________________________________________________________________________________

Author's Note: So here's another chapter, hope you enjoyed reading it.

Song for Chapter/ Title - Dial Tones by As It Is (expect it to crop up again at some point)

Little Bit of Truth (Sequal to The Overprotective Brother)Where stories live. Discover now