Rimelion: The Exploiter

7. Everyone loves wine

What a haul! I opened a bottle, took a sip, and was hit with an unexpectedly sweet flavor. The honeyed taste reminded me of a Sauternes I'd once splurged on during my first proper holiday, a week of overpriced wines that all but obliterated my wallet. I grinned, gazing out into the distant forest as memories of that time came flooding back. Good times.

Lucas touched my shoulder lightly. "Charlie, you look... kind of wrecked. You alright?" I gave him my brightest grin, but he just sighed. "I'm serious—you've got a problem with alcohol, don't you?" He moved closer, pulling me into an unexpected hug. For some strange reason, butterflies started swarming in my stomach as soon as he touched me. Woah, the wine's that strong?

"My dear mage, now is not the time for doom and gloom. Let's celebrate our first spoils!" I offered him the bottle, but he pulled back, running a nervous hand through his hair.

"I'll pass. We've been playing for over six hours. I need to log out for a bit," he said apologetically. He froze for a good ten seconds after hitting the log out button, standing statue-like before his body faded. I shrugged, taking another sip.

[Attention! You have entered Intoxicated State 1]
[Pain tolerance increased by 20%]

"What? Drinking lowers pain? Amazing!" I raised my bottle in a toast to my hardworking friends at the QA department. "Cheers to you!" I shouted, downing the rest of the bottle.

[Attention! You have entered Intoxicated State 2]
[Pain tolerance increased by 40%]
[Intelligence decreased by 20%]
[Agility decreased by 10%]

The ground seemed to waver a bit as my sense of direction blurred. No way I could keep hunting one-hit-kill Goolems in this state. Better find something safer.

After a moment's thought, I remembered a weird dungeon with Goolems nearby and set out in its direction—or so I thought. But as I stumbled along, I repeatedly snagged my heels on the same root, tripping again and again. An infinite loop of roots! My heels jammed between the same cursed roots at least five times before I finally wrenched them free.

Finding the dungeon quickly proved impossible. I walked for what felt like ages, hearing my footsteps echo as I wandered in circles, only to return to the Goolem hole. My old enemy, the root!

I plopped down on a familiar boulder, waiting for the world to stop spinning. I vaguely remembered an extra payment for finding this place, something near running water. A pond? A creek?

[Attention! You had entered the intoxicated state 1]

I wandered, a little more clear-headed, until I heard a stream and followed it until I found the... let's say thirteenth most beautiful waterfall. Okay, I couldn't check the ranking in a sightseeing guide, because Ricky probably didn't know what Rimelion was, so he obviously hadn't written it. Yet. I made a mental note to tell him at The Riker's Luck if I ever got the chance.

To avoid reaching the "thirsty" state, I took a sip from the cool stream, splashing my face to wake myself up. The hunger modifier? Future John's problem.

After the break at the waterfall, I glanced up the mountain. Thankfully, the north side was full of gray rough stones, so I nodded and started climbing up. My heels were helping me this time, and when I climbed near a resting place, I grew excited and tried to jump there. Guess what? The fall almost gave me a heart attack, and the rocky ground welcomed me in a warm embrace.

[You suffered fall damage: 27]

"Ouchie." I massaged my forehead and quickly cast a healing spell to rack up proficiency points. Maybe masochists really make the best healers.