Sebastian 'Bash' Walker is a partying Good-Time bloke who landed a full ride scholarship from out of The Bush of the outback in Australia to Magnolia Falls University. Magnolia Falls is located in Cajun Country, Louisiana USA where the food is hot...
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I don't sleep much anymore. Not since that day more than a year ago. I'm terrified of what happens when I sleep. I'm afraid of what I could do when I sleep, who I could hurt, or who I could murder again.
My life has completely changed after that day. I'm no longer Sebastian Walker, the Good-Time bloke who is great at baseball. I'm Sebastian Walker, a murdering psychopath.
I went through so many phases this last year, denial first. Then anger, then depression, and now I've accepted who I am.
Now, I'm a loner and do my best to keep to myself and avoid any and all contact with women and even my friends. I'm afraid of what will happen when I decide I want to kill again, and I cut drinking out entirely. Because I don't know how else I can't remember doing a damn thing.
I've tried and tried to recall that night. But all there is blackness. You'd think I'd remember killing a woman, flashes of the horrible act would pierce the veil of my memories, but there's nothing.
And to make me an even worse human being, I'm too selfish to turn myself in.
The police were here the day she was found because everyone knew she came to our party the night before, and all of us in the frat were interviewed. Even myself.
At that point, I was still in disbelief and shock. I even believed my psychotic mind that I maybe didn't do it when I was being questioned. I clung to the hope that because I didn't remember I must have not done it.
Selfish fucking monster. That's what I am.
What made it worse is the poor girl's family had to fly out from Colorado and identify her body. I've kept myself from watching any news or interviews on the television with the family because I couldn't bear to look at their grief-stricken faces. Because it's me and my monstrous actions that have caused their pain.
A reward has been issued for any leads put out by the Sorority and the girl's family that would help the investigation, but no one has talked.
It's clear to me that I'm the fucker that did it. But for some reason, I haven't been arrested. And not even questioned after that first day.
Of course, the boys in the frat and on the team have talked and they all think I'm a monster but no one has confronted me. Perhaps they are afraid of me? And they are right, they should be.
I've contemplated returning to Australia. But I can't face my Mum. Not after I've killed a woman and not after the abuse she went through before my arsehole dad left.
Bash Walker, a walking contradiction, Bash Walker worse than his father.
"Hey, Bash, you awake, man?" Jared knocks on my closed bedroom door.
I am. Because I hardly sleep anymore.
I stare at the ceiling and raise my hands above my face to be sure they are clean of blood. I check them every time I drift off to sleep.
