Nanny

14

Braxton

It felt so good to finally do what I wanted.

Yeah, it was a shitty stereotype. The playboy billionaire who was used to getting what he wanted, and thus didn't have any self-control. That used to describe me perfectly, when I was younger. But I was different now. I was more mature. I was above it all.

But when I was with Kate? I didn't care about making mistakes. I only cared about what was happening right now while she was in my arms.

I wished I could last forever. I didn't want to come, because coming meant an end to our perfect, sinful act. I wished that I was like Sting, who had supposedly mastered tantric sex that lasted hours. That's what I wanted with Kate right then: I wanted to fuck her like I was running a marathon. Long, steady, never-ending. An endurance race where we collapsed into the finish line, covered in sweat, too exhausted to move.

Yet even though I couldn't last that long, we were pretty sweaty and tired by the time I came inside her.

I held her body against mine afterward. She was warm and soft in all the right ways. Her skin was smooth under my fingertips, and I let my hand explore her body. Discovering all of her curves. She rested her head against me, and her gentle breath tickled my chest.

Holding back isn't fun, I thought. This feels too good to deny myself.

"This wasn't what I expected," she whispered.

I looked down at her. "I'm open to constructive criticism, but maybe we should enjoy a few minutes of cuddling first..."

She giggled and looked up at me. She had the biggest, brightest eyes. A man could drown in that gaze.

"I meant... This isn't what I expected to happen. I didn't intend for this. I went to your room to apologize."

"Apologize?"

"For upsetting you," she said softly. "When I asked what happened to the old nanny."

The memory was sharp and painful. I tried to push it back down, but the wound was too fresh.

"I'm sorry I ran into you," I said to change the subject. "I was busy looking at my phone."

"I'm glad you were." She kissed my chest and rested against it. "What did Bob Ross call his errors? Happy mistakes?"

"Is that a dig on my age?" I asked with a smile. "You're thinking of analogies that I'll understand?"

"Everyone knows Bob Ross," she replied. "All his old videos are on YouTube. My roommate used to watch them. But it's good to know you're sensitive about your age. I'll be sure to bring it up at every opportunity."

"I'm not that old. And I'm not sensitive about it."

She frowned. "Really? Fifty-six seems pretty old to me."

I grunted, and then her poker face turned into a big grin. I rolled over on top of her and tickled her underneath the arms, sending her into a fit of giggles and protests.

"In my industry, I'm the youngest of my peers," I said. "It's almost refreshing to be with someone who thinks I'm old."

"You seemed awfully youthful a few minutes ago," she replied. "I suppose age is just a number."

"Damn right."

She brushed back a lock of my hair. "Was it true what you said? You've been thinking about me since we met yesterday? Or did you just say that to get me in bed?"

"I always say what I mean, and I mean what I say. I had trouble focusing in the office today."

"So did you hire me for my language skills, or for this?" She moved her leg back and forth against my dick.

"Your language skills," I replied. "Anything else is just a bonus."

She wrapped her arms around my neck and gave me a soft kiss. "I think you hired me for this, and the language skills are a bonus."

Kate meant the comment as playful banter, but it stung. It reminded me of past mistakes, and of the warning Adam gave me yesterday.

You said this time would be different.

It was easy to ignore the past when I was in this beautiful woman's arms, but within seconds it was all I could think about. Last time had almost destroyed everything. My life, my reputation...

My family.

That's what was most important, I knew. My family. The twins. And here I was doing something selfish. It felt wonderful, and it felt right, but it was selfish nonetheless.

"Kate, I don't think this can happen again," I made myself say.

She blinked in surprise, then sat up on an elbow. "You think this was a mistake?"

"No," I said. "It's just that..." I couldn't find the words.

"What?" she insisted. Her eyes were wide and full of pain. "What's wrong?"

I hated to see her like this. We had been having so much fun, and I had ruined the moment. I didn't want to hurt her, but I knew what I needed to do.

"I really did hire you for the twins." I cupped her jaw and used my thumb to caress her cheek. "That's the most important thing in the world to me. I don't want anything to get in the way of that."

"It doesn't have to," she said softly.

"It might," I insisted. "As amazing as this was—and trust me, it was amazing—it has to end before it starts. Because if it ends later, and it ends messily, then it will have affected my children. I need you to be their nanny, their tutor, above all else."

She raised a challenging eyebrow. "It was amazing, wasn't it?"

Goddamn, she's sexy. It would have been so easy to relent, to kiss her and fold her against my body and make love to her again, to keep this going tomorrow and the day after and the day after that. But I knew it would be harder then. I had a moment of clarity, and I knew I had to seize on it.

No matter how much it hurt.

"I'm sorry, Kate."

"You mean Miss Renfroe?" she smirked.

"I'm sorry, Miss Renfroe. I hope you understand."

Her ample chest heaved as she took a deep breath, then let it out in a shuddering sigh. "Honestly, I do. It sucks, but I really do understand. I need this job, and I would hate for things to get messy and then I have to quit because of it."

"We'll always have tonight," I said.

"I'll never forget it."

I kissed her. It was supposed to be a kiss of goodbye, but it felt more like a kiss of see you next time.

Before I could change my mind, I pulled myself away from her, got dressed, and fled from the room.

It may have been wrong, I thought as I closed the door behind me, but it felt so right.