lonely heart || cth [slowly written]

Chapter 13.

It has been a few weeks since my reunion with Calum and his girlfriend and our awkward conversation. He seemed so different, happier than usual, he must have really been madly in love with her. I like seeing how happy he is. However, something under the skin was biting me at first I didn't want to admit it. I had the feeling that he was ignoring me. We didn't talk like we did before. I know that we didn't talk too much before but now we hardly talk to each other. From time to time we just say hello. He didn't look at me like he did before. I don't know why I suddenly felt so concerned about it. It's so stupid.

By distancing myself from Calum I got closer with the other guys but perhaps the most with Ashton. I had the impression that I had finally found people who would support me in everything.

We were sitting in the open air it was kind of like a park. For the first time during my work, the boys were going to play an open-air concert. It was something new, I was looking forward to the evening. The support band was rehearsing. I was on the sidelines sitting on one of the crates with equipment. In front of the stage on the lawn sat Calum, Luke and Michael watching the girls playing on the stage. They recorded each other and probably did it for the fans. I closed my eyes, turning my face towards the sun, enjoying the warmth that radiated from it. When I opened my eyes after a while I shuddered at the sight of the girl standing in front of me.

"Sorry, I didn't want to scare you" the blonde smiled at me as she put one of her hands on my knee and took it away after a few seconds.

"It's okay" I smiled back. The girl took off her sunglasses and put them on her head, thus pushing back her hair that slightly covered her face. She came to the crate and then sat down next to me, looking into my eyes.

"I'm Crystal," she held out her hand.

"Caitlin" I gave her my hand.

"I know who you are. Michael has told me a lot about you" she looked at the boy in the distance.

"Strange because he didn't say anything about you" I said.

"We've met recently maybe that's why.. he likes to talk a lot about himself and other people in his life. I'm a little more secretive" she said, playing with her fingers.

"So you are somebody new from the stuff or?" I cut off.

"Oh no. I met Michael and Ashton through one of my friends and somehow we got on well with each other.." She looked at Michael again. It felt as if they had more than just friendship in common.

"So you guys are friends?" I smiled at Crystal.

"Yeah we're friends" she said. There was something in her voice that I couldn't read yet "but changing the subject. Michael said you were one of the photographers and I don't know, but I was just wondering if you would mind taking some pictures of me" she asked.

"Oh, I didn't expect it but why not" I replied a bit surprised. Until the concert was a few more hours. Probably nothing will happen if I disappear for an hour or two.

***

After some time Crystal and I returned to the concert venue. I really liked her, she was very nice. I don't think anyone noticed our absence. Boys were already on the stage, but not all of them. Crystal and I continued talking.

"I'll edit the pictures and send them to you" I said.

"I can't wait to see them" she said excitedly "give me your phone" she added stopping.

Slightly surprised, I pulled out my cell phone and handed it to her. She started clicking something, focusing her attention on the device she was holding.

"I entered my number" she smiled, handing me back the phone, "if you ever want to talk about something or just exchange a few words, go ahead and write or call as you prefer" she added.

"I'll definitely do it" I put the phone in my pants pocket "I have no idea why but I think we'll have beautiful friendship" I added as we moved on. I wasn't that kind of person who liked sharing feelings. I didn't get attached to people but I honestly was hoping that this blonde girl will stay a little longer in my life.

"I think so too" she looked into my eyes smiling.

"Hey girls" I heard a voice coming from behind us. Crystal and I turned around and we saw Michael "Crystal I've been looking for you everywhere" he added as he approached us.

"Something happened?" the girl asked.

"No.. I just wanted to talk to you .. spend some time before I have to get back on stage" he said "I hope I didn't disturb you" he added looking at me.

"No we actually finished" he looked at me confused. I didn't want to explain what we were doing because Crystal will probably do it anyway.

The two of them looked into each other's eyes smiling slightly at the same time, they started talking to each other. I teared my eyes away from them looking at the stage. The only thing that caught my attention was Calum and Nia who were hugging. He was smiling at her broadly. My god he looked so happy. My mood suddenly changed and I became sad which I found out strange. I guess I finally realized what I had done. I finally realized that I gave up the chance for a happy relationship. Of course I was the one to blame. I felt so pathetic. Calum told me what he feel about me and I just ran away, not wanting to listening to any of his words. I was embarrassed by my thoughts now I understand what people mean when they say we only appreciate something when we lose it. A familiar voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

"And Caitlin, your aunt was looking for you" Michael said as he and Crystal started to distance themselves from me.

"Thanks" I replied. Michael just nodded then turned. I one last time glanced at the couple on stage and then went to look for my aunt.

***

I was looking for my aunt for a long time but I couldn't find her anywhere. I began to wonder why she was looking for me, as usual, I thought that it couldn't be any good news. I took out my cell phone I wanted to call her. When I was about to dial her number a woman I knew appeared to me. I finally found her.

"Apparently you were looking for me" I approached my aunt who turned to me at the sound of my voice. Worry was painted over her face.

"It's about grandma" she replied crossing her arms over her chest.

"What happened?"

"They called me recently from the hospital. She had heart-attack threatening condition " she said seriously with sadness in her voice.

"Oh my god.." I knew that my grandmother had heart disease. I didn't know what exactly was wrong, she was taking some medication but in fact nothing like this ever happened to her. I didn't care too much about it she always looked good and hardly ever complained about her health "how is she feeling now?"

"She's stable but the doctors said they would keep her for a few days for observation" she said "I'm going to go back to Australia to take care of her" she added.

"I'll fly with you" I said quickly without thinking.

"No Caitlin stay" she replied. Maybe I was never close to my grandmother but it was still my family. I was worried about her "your presence there will not change much and here you are probably a little more needed"

"But.." she interrupted me.

"Grandma will be fine. I can take care of her by myself. You have to make your dreams come true, you deserve it" she said touching my shoulder. My aunt hugged me tightly. Our physical act was interrupted by the ringing of Ruth's phone. My aunt moved away from me taking her phone.

"Sorry I have to pick this up" she said looking at the screen before meeting my eyes. She put the phone to her ear, walking away from me. I sat down on the chair that stood nearby, hiding my face in my hands. I would like the good news to be as present in my life as the bad news are, but I guess we don't always get what we want.