𝐃𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐎𝐟 𝐀 𝐌𝐢𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐞

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 23

Every day of school is a living hell.

It's been less than a month of attending classes but it feels like a year or more.

I am so tired of constantly being taught crap that I  am not interested in.

Today, like any other day, was crappy and I  don't  know why Mondays have to be the worst.

Okay, I  must admit, I  made this Monday terrible with my constant ability to screw things up.

I don't  understand why I  can never do things right.

I was so convinced that my hand practice and  pillow practice would help me  get ready for a kissing scene in drama club.

If there is anyone that had been working hard for a perfect kissing scene , it is me. I did everything I  could do. I even kissed Jaden  which is something I  would never do but I  did it just so that I  could not embarrass myself if I  was called out.

But was that practice worth it?

NO IT WAS NOT!

As usual, I  screwed up all my hard work. Do you know what it is like to work hard at kissing your hand, Ignoring how embarrassing it looks while doing it ---only for nothing?

Do you know what it feels like to study really hard only to fail so miserably?

It hurts, it really does.

I actually studied really hard . My kissing practice was a way that I  studied really hard for the actual exam hoping that when I  could actually do it, I  could make it.

But I  didn't.

I FAILED MISERABLY !

We were given a kissing scene in drama club. I thought it would be really fun when they mentioned it because Jaden  really fed my ego concerning the kiss I  gave him.

So when they mentioned it, I  thought to myself : What could  possibly go wrong? I am a good kisser so this is gonna be extremely easy.

Well, was it?

NO IT WAS NOT, because no matter how much practice I  perform, I  am still Terra, the loser girl that is extremely socially awkward .

Every one was really excited at the mention of the scene we were required to perform. I was also excited  because it was something I  worked hard for and kissing is  actually fun to do.

All we were required to do was to stare at  Lucas (the guy who volunteered for the scene) in a flirty way then kiss him.

I wasn't  the first one to act out that scene so I  used that as an opportunity to watch how others were giving a flirty eye because I  actually don't  know how to and I  didn't practice .

Don't know why ,but the flirty eye looked really difficult to give and suddenly that started to give me some anxiety.

"Terra it's your turn." The teacher said slapping me out of my thoughts. The moment she called out my name I  starting feeling anxious .

I walked over to Lucas trying my best to produce a flirty eye because apparently it was needed, but my face was disappointing me.

"She looks like she is holding a fart!" I heard someone shout which sent everyone in so much laughter.

I immediately tried to redeem myself by trying to kiss Lucas but then I  accidentally bumped my forehead against his which made the laughter worse than before.

I couldn't  keep basking in my embarrassment so I  immediately ran out of the classroom not caring about what others would think of me.

DRAMA CLUB IS JUST NOT MEANT FOR ME!

I am so lame that every time I  need to practice before I  do anything. Even just for a kissing scene, I  needed to practice for a while and never did it occur to me that I needed to practice the flirty eye too.

Now, I  had to embarrass myself by looking like I  am holding a fart when in the mean time I  was trying to give a flirty look.

That experience was enough proof that I  needed to leave drama club.

Might go to chess club where I  can freely lose chess matches even though it won't be fun.

Mondays are  the worst  especially when you are a loser like me .