𝐃𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐎𝐟 𝐀 𝐌𝐢𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐞

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 29

I never knew feelings could give you anxiety .

The whole day, the only thought that was on my mind was Jaden's face. I could only think about his beautiful smile when ever I  told  him a terrible joke. He always found what ever jokes I  told him, funny.

I started imagining being next to him and for some reason , thinking about him gave me so much peace of mind.

But it later gave me anxiety . My spirit felt troubled by the fact that I  had been silent about my feelings for him.

I wanted to tell him to free my guilt; To give me the peace I  needed. But I  felt too scared to do it.

What do you do when you like someone? I texted Ariana. A few seconds later she responded.

Tell him.-Ariana.

I looked at the text like I  had seen something disgusting. I wanted to tell him but it felt impossible . I was too scared.

Admitting feelings has so many risks . What if he doesn't like me and I  end up losing him?

What if he doesn't feel the same?- I  texted back.

Don't worry about that. You're a cool girl Terra. Any normal guy can like you.- Ariana.

I read the text and it made me laugh. Any normal guy? So if Jaden did not like me then that means he is not normal?

Her words uplifted my troubled spirit. It was true, if he did not like me back then why should I  beat myself up for it?

Thank you.- I  texted back. She actually gave me enough courage to tell him.

So who is the lucky guy?-Ariana.

You will find out soon.- I  texted back. I was trying to hide whom it was from her.

I know it is Jaden. -Ariana. My eyes widened. How did she know?

Wow! Is it that easy to tell?- I  texted.

Yeah. The way you stare at him. Anyone can notice that you like him.- Ariana. I got worried. If she could tell then maybe Jaden already knew I  liked him.

Do you think Jaden  knows?- I  texted.

No he doesn't. Guys are very dense . - Ariana.

That was supposed to give me hope but it didn't . Jaden isn't  like any typical guy. He is way different . I am pretty sure he also noticed.

I guess I  will tell him. - I  texted. It was pointless to hide my feelings. Maybe if he knew, it would make me feel a lot better.

Please tell him then call me when you do.- Ariana.  I couldn't tell him just yet but I  really wanted to.

Okay.- I  texted. Suddenly, I  got more anxious than before. Negative thoughts crowded my mind so much that my courage turned meager.

I took a deep breath in and out and wiped all negative thoughts away.

If he doesn't like you Terra, then he isn't normal. I reassured my self.

I like you Jaden . I find myself abruptly typing. I really wanted to type the send button but I  felt scared to do it so I  threw my phone on the bed and then next minute I  heard a vibration sound.

I immediately  grabbed  my phone and then I  noticed  my text got sent even though I  never pressed the send button, which frightened me and what scared  me  even more was knowing that Jaden  replied .

I scrolled down hoping for a reply that will not break my heart.

I like you too😍. -Jaden .

At the sight of that text, I  begun to jump around stupidly. Failing to believe my own response, I  sat on my bed and continued to type .

So what do you like about me? I typed and this time I  sent it.

We can talk about that in person. -Jaden .

I had no problem with that at all especially because such issues are best spoken about in person.

Okay no problem.-  I  texted back then next minute I  called Ariana.

When I  told her that he likes me back, I  just heard loud screaming on the call.

"I am so happy for you!" She said excitedly.

"Thank you. Who would have thought he is normal?" I said jokingly .

"I knew it! I always suspected that he liked you but I  did not want to draw up a quick conclusion ."

"Why didn't you tell me you felt that way ?" I said. Maybe I  would have been less scared to tell him how I  felt.

"I guess I  did  not want to give you false hope. "

"Yeah I  understand, but the good thing is that he actually likes me."

"Yeah and the best part is you're going to be someone's girlfriend soon." She said. I never really thought that I  could be Jaden's girlfriend .

"Can I  call you later?" I said. I wanted to end the conversation after I  started to over think. I never considered what it would be like to be someone's girlfriend ,so the thought gave me a lot of anxiety.

"No problem. Bye hon."

" Bye sugar." I said, then ended the call. I never thought we could be good friends. When I  accepted her, I  never knew we would end up being this close.

Honestly, I  am so glad I  agreed to be her friend. She really cares about me and I  am able to see that . I really like her.

My biggest weakness is how much of an over thinker I  am. When Ariana  told me about possibly becoming  Jaden's  girlfriend . I couldn't help but over think.

What if I  become the worst girlfriend on the universe? I really like Jaden but I  don't  know if I  can accept to be his girlfriend .

It looks like he had a lot to tell me such that he needed to tell me in person. I am worried about what he wants to tell me. Okay, honestly , I  am very worried .

If he wants me to be his girlfriend , I  don't  really know how I  would respond.

Now, I am anxious about tomorrow .