BLUE PROSES

S I N G L E by C H O I C E

                            S I N G L E by C H O I C E

People used to ask me why I'm not in a relationship yet, as if it was a "college" pre-requisite subject that you cannot enter the second semester without basically taking them. Irregular. That's what they call you educationally. But who the hell would have agreed to be called an irregular and undergo irregular process when you can just basically wait for the regular term? If you're going to ask me if I have tried looking for this love thing yet, I will reply you a consistent chuckle and the first two letters of nothing.Let me philosophize this a bit. I know you once hated your philosophy subject but let me tell you, philosophy can define everything with its own innate terms. Allow me introduce you to a Philosopher that I just met last week on my newly-subscribed Spotify premium, his name is Eric Fromm. He published a book year 1956, which is the "Art Of Loving". And he quoted this line, which practically amused the hell out of me. "Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the fundamental problem of human existence". See that? I don't have any idea how you mindfully decipher that quote. Of course, we have our own understanding. But I guess you need to know a little further to fully understand that. The fundamental problem of human existence is "separateness" ~ well, that's according to him. Have you ever wonder about that? That even if you are surrounded by thousands of people, it feels entirely divided. Like we have our own spaces and they have their own as well. Human beings are conscious beings. And that consciousness, permits us to be aware of what he calls the type of existential loneliness. We are aware, that we are drastically separate from every human being that's out there. We are aware that no matter how much of a support system we have, if the right cons of events came to pass, even consecutively, we ultimately have ourselves, only ourselves in the end. You might feel lonelier about this piece if you're gonna listen to Ed Sheeran singing the theme song of The Fault In Our Stars. Lol. I know that John Green's creatives once made you rain like a storm. Lol. I'm a lover of tragic entries, which most people think is weird. Haha, going back to this non-romantic thoughts of mine, this reality of the human condition for "Fromm" , is a big reason why people often wanna find to connect to something greater than themselves. To alleviate the separateness, the loneliness. That's why I don't wonder why most relationships are failing almost every day. Most people right now, they go and enter relationships so they no longer feel alone. And if you love with this transactional way of connecting and navigating the system of love, this prolly won't last. Your foundation is so lame ~ a kid will not even consider that as puppy love. See, I know that everything is a learning experience, but, sometimes, also consider not to sabotage your own self. Being single doesn't necessarily mean what you're having is a loveless existence. No. Aneyo. There are reasons why you're single. And I don't care. Because I am, too. I have been in love, not just focused enough to pursue them. It's not about having these entire rejection thoughts, or possible acceptance, but what I fear when I do something, is that I will potentially fail because I'm so vague~ I had no idea to handle one. To enter is actually a risk and I'm not that risk taker. Which is something that I'm thankful for because I've been consistent enough not to let people ruin all the plans that I have on hand, and prolly have I avoided potential tsunami of awkward moments. How practical is it? For you it might seem so so superficial, that it's impossible. And people realize that as well. I've been linked romantically with random schoolmates. And I swear, I am so genuine when I talk to these people. Here's the thing, even if I like someone, when people started to push me pursue, or make ways to let you recognize that your my cupid's match in my perception, I abandon the feeling. Really. I hate it when people try to govern my personal links. It's like they're happily taking your rights to decide in your own method. So, no thanks.I know it'll sound cowardly on your end, you might be thinking I'm such a stupid guy to just abandon a thing. But let me tell, there are things we abandon for our own peace. So that's not literally abandonment, it means I allow myself to have my space. That's all. "Paradoxically, the ability to be alone is the condition for the ability to love.", but, how do you define love anyway? What's your perception of love? Because you're fooling me if you have had series of ex-boy/girlfriends or got a divorce five times in a row like Berlin from Money Heist if you can't even define what love really is. Based on my own observatory,in this vast fucking universe, there are two types of it. The first one, I call it the transactional kind. I worked as an agent and in my very last coaching with my team leader, she told me I sound too much transactional with my client. Which made me think, in a way, love is like handling a call. You'll sound transactional when you talk business. And love is business in a sense, for some. Why do you think?Barter. You provide your ego some tangible relationship and of course, the intensity of the loneliness people experience before that is gigantic. You turn yourself into a product with the similar exchange value, and boom, things will run their course. If we can get somebody to serve us. Somebody's presence to make us feel less alone and less anxious, to silence somebody else's insecurities about which weaknesses of ours are we supposed and should be compensating for. Very first welcome service will soon be annoying. What if the two of you are just two essentially consumable products of similar values in the personality market, and when everything's consumed, you have none to offer. Consumer lives. We buy things. We enjoy them for a while. And then we get bored of them. We donate them or we throw them in the trash. You know, you cannot just force somebody to serve you and pull you over that "existential loneliness" phase of yours. We engage in this mutually beneficial transaction with another person to try to escape the feeling of being alone , when the solution to be able to actually love someone in a real capacity is to learn to be alone. You will not be able to love any one person, until you love every one. Because you will always be picking and choosing the people you love in terms of what benefit they can provide to you, if you're loving because you're getting something in return, you're doing business, you're being transactional. Love is not that way. And it's unfair that you do this when the other party is genuine. Quit that. It's not healthy. The other definition of love, is ART. Love is an art. Love can be best describe as an art. "The first step to take, is to become aware that love is an art. Just as living is an art. If we want to learn how to love, we must proceed the same way we have to proceed when we want to learn any other art"Love is about how you craft it on your own. Most people fail because they're not even trying. This is may be because art is very difficult to master. And much more difficult to sustain. Love, this is not a part time job. Think of any person that dedicate themselves to an art. True masters of what they actually do. These are people that have given themselves over to this artistic process. People who have dedicated their lives so much to their craft. That they actually foresee the world different way than other people. An Architect will see park wood benches differently that someone who just walk their feet on the park. A chef will distinguish that a dish is under-spiced than normal people who just eat what is served. To become a true master of an art, it requires an immersion that's with you 24/7. Not when you just feel like doing it. Love is a full time job. Love is a promise. Love is not about searching harder and finding the perfect person, love is about improving a skill. How do we achieve a mastery of that skill? In this pursuit, love in a truly artistic fashion. You have to be necessary counterculture as well. Love with discipline. "Creativity requires the courage to let go of certainties." Love requires mastery if you want to sustain it. And you can actually master that in the process. It really depends on how we see things. So, is it in your best interest to be really in a relationship and fully commit yourself, or are you just escaping from your existential loneliness cage by letting yourself believe they have the keys to unlock the cage? I hope that you'll never love someone in a selfish, transactional way. When you know a thing, you always have a choice. And all these things, they told me, I still have to master my own craft. I am single, by choice. Because when you want it, it's just there. And even if you don't want it, it's just there. So don't rush it. Go. Travel. Explore. Write. Paint. Attend workshops. Study. Invest. Make businesses. Do your things. Love. This is a connection that isn't reliant on any external factors. It's a connection that gives others the message that you choose for yourself.