i really hope everything is fine back home❤
09. Dinner
It was true, right? You looked the way you felt. But did it not work the other way round too?? You felt the way you looked because Kaya finally felt herself today. She knew she was looking stunning in this brown stain dress and it made her feel great, at least so much better than the last night.
It had been a day and a half more of mourning and she didn't want it to continue. It was difficult to get the images of the protest out of her mind, but at the same time she had realized that sorrowing alone wouldn't really help. She needed to do something greater, but she did not know what exactly she should do.
Kaya had tweeted rigorously in the mean time, she'd tried to fetch the contact numbers and the address of people affected, she'd delivered food and ration to the families still at the protest, she had wanted to arrange cheap transport for the ones who wished to go back home but she quite did not know what more she could do.
Kaya still felt helpless about every thing but she was just glad that at least she was not responding to it the way she had been lately.
She could not believe that she had been utterly vulnerable in front of Aryan, that she had let her gaurds down, that she had let her legs and hands shiver and tremble, that she had let herself cry and seek him so miserably. She felt so embarrassed by the thoughts of it that she really wished if she could in some way erase his memory of her especially after how things turned out to be.
Kaya hated being caught in any situation she isn't prepared for from the core of her being because she just knew that it always ended up bringing out the worst in her, the most naive, the most raw and the most stupid and silly version of her.
She just hated the unpredictability of life, it did not thrill her like it used to instead it only made her obsess over the idea of controlling everything in her life.
Kaya had realized over the time that she liked playing safe, that she preferred being caculative 'cause she knew she couldn't let her heart choose, because listening to her heart over her mind ruined things, it always messed up.
Kaya could not stop abhoring the fact that she had let Aryan decide for her. She truely loathed feeling weak in front of people and Aryan had seen so much of her yesterday.
She had to be thankful because he sort of saved her life but she hated the other tragedies which she had to deal with because of him rather too much. Moreover, how could she forget that he was one of the culprits himself??
"For how long you gonna give me this silent treatment?" Afaf broke Kaya's daze with her question. She looked away from the window to Afaf and thought again. She wasn't sure about when she would.
Kaya loved Afaf, ofcourse but Kaya also held grudges and here, she was genuinely upset, disappointed to be more accurate. Afaf and Kaya have had huge arguments because of what happened and she could not wrap her mind around the fact that Afaf was actually choosing to neglect what Aryan and Mustafa did. She did not understand how could she love someone who was so willing to be cruel and unkind, to the extent of actually plotting agaisnt people's lives.
Afaf had told her that they didn't really scheme the attack. They did think of doing something similar but what really happened was not their plan or anything that they'd wanted to do. Kaya argued that she was just believing in their lies and the only reason why Aryan did not do what he had deviced was because of the repercussions it would have on the elections and not at all because he cared for the people or else he would have done something to stop it or prevent it, Aryan did hold the power to do that.
