comment okay? it helps
39. Can't
Kaya felt deja vu sitting on the floor on the mat, looking at herself in the mirror.
The moment was so deceptively similar to the day he brought her home for the very first time, to the day he started to protect her from the wild crowd, to the day he began to go that extra mile for her.
It was similar not only because he chose her over the other worldly affairs like that day, but also 'cause of what Kaya felt.
She felt dead with pain then, and she felt dead with pain even today, no matter how much time and her feelings had changed in between.
Kaya breathed, continuing to feel a vacuum in her chest. So much had happened in a short while, over a span of a night; so much had been lost and put at stake, so much had been done in the name of love and hate, so much had been done right and wrong yet she was still alive.
How could she still be alive?? How could she? She didn't think she was this strong???? Kaya did not think she could over come and out grow places, people and memories.
Kaya thought and wished for death yet again!She wished it desperately.
With each passing day bringing her sorrow and misery in abundance, with each passing day putting her through tests so dreary and deadly, Kaya could not believe that she was surviving it all. She could not.
Rather she no more knew if she was really being strong or she had lost the game and become numb and empty long time ago.
A heavy tear dropped down her eyes as she tried super hard to make sense out of every thing that was happening with her, as she tried hard to comprehend what the universe was trying to tell her.
It was crazy, right? Crazy just how fast the night changes? Crazy how everything one feels disappears so quickly into new feelings yet stay as hidden but deep twisted memory??
Absolutely crazy how we could end up becoming what we hate others for?
Kaya shuddered as images of last night flashed before her eyes; her stomach churned in disgust and horror; her heart starved for air as the memory sunk in her chest. She could not look at herself in the eye, she just couldn't.
She had killed someone.
KAYA HAD KILLED SOMEONE.
She had claimed a life.
KAYA HAD CLAIMED A LIFE.
How could she?
HOW COULD KAYA?
A ridicule ran through her body as she looked at her hands. She began to shiver; they were bloody now, decorated with death just like those hands of murderers of her father & sister, right???
She could not look at her hands any more, she yearned to chop them off her and in fact, she even tried to but the thought of Aryan stopped her.
Aryan.
Kaya's heart sank in the pit of her stomach again.
Aryan.
Why would he??
WHY WOULD ARYAN?
Why would he tell everyone he was driving the car???
WHY WOULD ARYAN TELL EVERY ONE HE WAS DRIVING THE CAR??
Why would he say he hit the man dead with his car?
WHY WOULD ARYAN SAY HE HIT THE MAN DEAD WITH HIS CAR??
