It's a long road...

ch. 26

extreme tw for this chapter and the following ones. be careful friends.

"mr. aizawa and present mic have been telling me you're eating more at lunch with them." ikeda said.

"i guess." todoroki muttered. todoroki knew he said he was going to try and get something out of this whole therapy thing, but fuck it was difficult to open up. to cooperate ikeda. it was difficult to want to get better.

would that effort be worth it?

the clock on the wall of ikeda's office ticked and ticked loudly. once again, todoroki couldn't help but feel as if time was loving too slowly. todoroki just wanted to go back to his dorm and sleep.

he wanted to sleep and sleep and never wake up.

the hour dragged on until ikeda finally let todoroki leave. todoroki left quietly, beyond grateful to be leaving the uncomfortable atmosphere atmosphere that had settled all throughout ikeda's office.

tears began to drip down todoroki's face as he walked through the school to get to the dorms. thankfully, the school was pretty much empty, since it was after school hours.

he wasn't even sure why he was crying. todoroki just felt so damn hopeless and pitiful. all the stress of recent events felt like it was finally hitting todoroki. why hadn't he better hide his problems? then, no one would have to pretend to care about him. no one would have to waste their time on a lost cause.

all of this was so pointless. things were never going to get better for todoroki. his dad was always going to hate him and terrorize him. he was never going to be able to make friends.  he was never going to be easily outgoing. he was never going to be happy in a lasting way.

todoroki's thoughts were suddenly spiraling. he was distantly aware of the fact that he was sobbing. he failed to notice two of his teachers spotting him.

his feet turned directions. todoroki's trajectory shifted from the ua dorms to a staircase.

todoroki began his trek up the stairs. with every step he took, a harmful thought crowded into his mind.

worthless.

fat.

ugly.

slob.

weak.

lazy.

good for nothing.

it's your fault father hates you.

it's your fault mom hates you.

it's your fault touya hates you.

it's your fault natsuo hates you.

it's your fault fuuyumi hates you.

bakugo.

mina.

sero.

kaminari.

kirishima.

jirou.

your fault.

your fault.

your fault.

my fault.

i'm nothing.

nothing.

nothing.

nothing.

worthless.

worthless.

worthless.

i'm...

i'm on the roof.

the sun is setting.

the sky is so many colors.

i never realized how much i loved sunsets.

i stepped forward.

this was always how things were going to end for me.

i'm so worthless.

so fat.

i'm such a coward.

closer to the edge.

even closer now.

my toes are hanging over the edge.

all i have to do is lean forward.

"i'm sorry mr. aizawa."

just lean forward.

"i'm sorry present mic."

so sorry.

"i'm so..."

the sky is so pretty.

"i'm just so sorry."