I came from a very influential family somewhere from a develope country. Everyone respect and bow to my family for their powerful background. People around here could recognized each and every of my family member. EXCEPT ME. They always look high on my family and thought they're noble, they're perfect. But yeah, I believe every family has their own darkside or secret that need to hide. In my family's case, I'm that darkside. I'm the burden. I'm the dirt that they're trying to cover up. Nobody in here fond of IGBT. They despised it so bad. Due to that I was safely concealed at home. I never know what its like to be out there, to have a normal life.
I'm not gonna denied, sometimes I wish I was never born. I mean what's the point of me living in this world when my own parents felt ashamed on my own identity as an intersex. They rather hide me away from people. No matter how much I try to impressed them with my good side, but it's not gonna change their mind. I'm still that unwanted daughter. And because of the way they treated me, I'm slowly losing a hope. Sometimes I felt like I'm the lowest in every human's level. I felt like my existance will never be acceptable in the society. Its always been like this. My family always remind me that if my identity was exposed, the world will be so cruel to me and my family. So I never broke the rules. I'm selfless afterall.
One time when my parents decided to send me to the private school, my actual gender was almost exposed due to the school medical check up. And my parents gone mad, they try their best to buried it deep so nobody will ever know. They'll do anything to keep it safe. Doesn't really matter if they have to do bad stuff or murder someone. As long as the family's name stays clean. And after that incident happened, they never really send me to the school anymore. I was trap having a private lesson in our home until now. It's obviously tiring but it's something that I can't avoid.
Nevertheless, soon as I reached 20, I made a desicion to handle my identity on my own. I don't want to be trap in this huge mansion anymore. I do aware about the consequences if I was exposed. But I have a great plan.
Today I brace myself to talk to my mother on something that maybe could help me escape from all of this. "Mom, I never asked for a favour. Um will you let me study overseas?" I asked softly. I always being that obedient daughter, I never raised my voice when I speak to my parents. No matter how harsh they scolded me, I will just take it and swallow the pain away. She looks astonished by my request. At some point she look like about to get angry. Right before she could asnwer my question, I added a point that could convince her. "mom I don't mind if I have to stay far away from here, afterall I'm well aware I'm a family's secret. Atleast If I wasn't here, people won't be suspicious. I promise I'll stay low" she seems to think on my opinion. A moment later she started to speak. "Well. I think I could consider it but where you're planning to go?" she asked trying to act concerned. Weakly I replied back to my mother. "Anywhere, that is safe". Honestly I'm scared. I never been exposed to the outside world since like forever. So I'm not really sure if I could handle this all alone. But I really want to escape from here. I'm sick of it. It takes few minutes for her to respond back to me. "Then I'll give you 2 months to prepare your stuff, don't worry I'll handle everything"
Its sad. She don't even try to hide it. She really trying so hard to get rid of me from this family. Deep down inside its hurting me. She never really care about my feelings. All she care about was family's reputation. I'm sure all of my family member will so happy with this decision. Maybe its a win-win situation. Cause I will never be part of this family anyway. I will never be loved.
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2 months later..
I packed all of my stuff later that night, I'm ready to leave. My feelings were split into two. I felt happy but I felt sad too. I felt happy cause finally I could run away from this burden, I felt sad cause I'm still the unwanted daughter. Nobody trying to stop me. They even encouraging me to leave. It's painful. Maybe I should try to be positive. Atleast I won't be longer feel pressured and bound to the family. I made a promise to myself, that soon as I left this place, I won't think about my family anymore. It will be just ME.
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Intersex (Completed)
RomanceI'm one of those odd species called intersex. People tend to have a different prespective in our existance. Lets just say a split opinion, most take it negetively and little, positivity. In my case, I'm surrounded by 99% of narrow minded society. No...
