Ninjago Season 16 FANFICTION

Episode/Chapter 1 - Grief

Kai's POV

As I passed the doorway to the lounge, I saw Jay sitting on the couch looking at the TV. Cole was trying to cheer up Jay as usual with his desperate attempts to beat his own high score. Jay would occasionally grin or laugh when Cole died seconds before beating it, but other than that, he looked at the screen with empty eyes.

The loss of Nya had hit everyone hard. The whole city. Old friends who knew her. The team.

Cole had been crying the first day after it happened, once Jay had gone to his room. I knew because I'd heard him as I was going out to the kitchen. But lately, Cole had been acting happy, especially around Jay.

I wondered whether that was because he didn't want to let the hope of the team die out. After all, usually, Jay would be the one making jokes, complaining about training, and keeping the team's spirit up, but now with Jay being so... well, dead inside, the team had become quieter. Almost like it was more fragile, in a strange way.

Zane had been spending more time downstairs with Pixal, they said that they were just working on some special projects together, now that the action had died down. They'd also been cooking every meal together, always chatting when training, and often watched Cole's attempts at beating the high score.

Jay only talked to either complain or to ask a question. He didn't try to hide any of his sadness. Sometimes, we'd be watching TV all together on a night where we didn't know what to do, and Nya pops up on the screen or is mentioned and he'd start crying. Cole comforts him the most. They've spent a whole night in Jay's room together before. Zane and Pixal invite him to work on their projects too, every time actually. They always ask him, sometimes he says no, other times both he and Cole go downstairs to help. Lloyd has only talked to him when we discuss strategies and moves. I'm yet to talk to him myself though.

He'd also been going to his parents' house a lot. Always leaving and coming back whenever he felt like it. It'd become a normal thing, so we left him alone about it when he'd sometimes disappear in the morning and come back at midnight.

Lloyd had been going in and out of Wu's bedroom, talking to him frequently in a hushed tone. I think that they were talking about the team's future most of the time, I hear Nya's name and "Team" pop up often in the snippets of their conversations that I catch.

He also talked to me a lot, always asking what I'm up to when he comes past my bedroom. My reply was always the same,

"Just trying to keep smiling, how about you?"

Lloyd would usually reply with a weak smile and say,

"Same,"

If I'm being honest, I was never smiling. I sometimes think I hear Nya and frantically look around. I wish I'd stop getting my own hopes up, it's painful. It hits harder every time I think about all the times where I'd been a horrible brother to her.

I lied a lot so I could leave without anyone getting suspicious when we'd be training in the yard and I'd get a memory of me showing off to Nya, and then her showing me a cooler trick and then us laughing together. Because I knew. I knew that I'd never be able to do that again. Ever.

I sat on my bed in my room, looking at the boards on the ceiling, wondering if I'd ever get to see Nya again.

Nya... Tears pricked my eyes. My little sister, the one I took care of for so long... Gone. I felt a tear go down my cheek, without even noticing it, I'd started crying again. It was thundering outside, the rain drumming against my window. I lay down on my back with my hands on my face, I didn't want to cry again. Every time I did, it was more painful.

"Kai?" I jolt up at the voice. It was Lloyd. "Are... are you ok?" That question had a complicated answer that I wasn't sure I wanted to share yet. I dried my eyes as best I could with my sleeve and straightened myself.

"Yeah! Yeah... I'm- I'm fine," I say, wondering if Lloyd had bought the lie. I look up at Lloyd and read his face to find almost a disappointed look. He sighs and comes and sits next to me on the side of my bed.

"You know Kai, that is one of the most overused lies. You won't get me to believe it, I know that you aren't alright," Lloyd said, staring into my eyes. I felt as if Lloyd could see right through my mask, the mask with the "I'm ok, just ok" look. I longed to tell anyone how I felt, to let out all the pent-up sadness, anger, guilt, grief.

But I couldn't. I could never do that. I wouldn't. With everyone going through the same thing, telling my feelings to someone would be emotionally draining for them.

"No, seriously Lloyd, I'm fine," I told him defiantly. I looked away, down at the one wooden floorboard that looked different.

"Kai, please... If you keep your emotions bottled up longer, you might as well explode when you don't mean it...!" Lloyd almost sounded as if he were begging for me to tell him my problems. But I had made up my mind.

I turned my head further away from Lloyd, I hung it down so he couldn't see the tears welling up in my eyes. "Please...?" There was silence for a moment.

Lloyd sighed.

"Fine, it's ok if you aren't ready yet..." Lloyd said quietly, standing up and walking towards the door. He opened it, but he paused.

"I'm always here to talk if you need to...!"