Everything I Do, I Do For You

Chapter 15

Something felt truly magical about admitting her feelings towards him. And to hear Kellan say that he felt the same way was better than any longer term scheme she could come up with. But really, what she really felt made this evening better, was the pure ecstasy she experienced from kissing him.

If someone had walked in on the two of them at that moment, she would have no issue marrying him quickly. This was love, and now she knew it for sure. The idea of marriage no longer felt horrible. Spending a life with someone who was willing to put up with her stubborn ways seemed even better than being stubborn alone.

Belinda felt his lips slowly make their way down to her collarbone, then inching ever so closer to her breast.

"May I?" Kellan asked, his words heavy with his breath. She knew what he was asking, and in that moment it was all she wanted to give him.

"Go and make sure the door is locked." She pointed across the room.

By the time he had gotten back, she had already begun to untie her bodice. She found herself stuck at the middle of her back, where not even her own arms could reach. "Could you help me?" she asked him.

"I've never wanted to help anyone more" He took over the task for her.

The motion of his fingers along her back shot sensations of pleasure along her spine. Once fully set free, she removed her arms from her sleeves and wiggled the rest of her dress off. It felt so liberating but equally frightening. She had never been naked in front of a man before, well probably except for her father, but she was a mere baby at that point. Slowly turning around, she shut her eyes tightly, afraid of some adverse reaction from him.

"My God" he said, Belinda kept her eyes closed, "I understand why you want to wear breeches so badly. You have the most beautiful body I have ever seen. All those dresses do not do it justice."

Feeling so wonderful, Belinda opened her eyes. "You are very nice looking yourself" she said.

It took her a moment to take all of him in. She wondered if her brain was built incorrectly when her first thought was "my goodness, if only I could write down what I am feeling right now" she shook her head. As exciting as it was to be with him, if anyone had found any written record of this evening, she would surely face the wrath of God.

Why everyone had considered this act a sin, Belinda could not fathom. Adam and Eve had not been marital partners when they first experienced each other. Or maybe they had been. She'd have to consult the bible when she had a free moment. "Damnit Belinda." she whispered to herself, "this is no time for academic inquiries."

"What did you say?" Kellan said, moving towards her.

Belinda partially panicked, "I was just overthinking. As always."

Kellan led her to the bed, his hand delicately rubbing her forearm as they sat down.

"I can't say I know what I am doing," Belinda said. Was it bad for her to be honest in that moment,

"Then I will teach you," Kellan said, caressing her cheek.

For someone like Belinda, who enjoyed the challenges of life, she had no issue learning the almost delicate movements that constituted intercourse. Everything just felt right, everything felt natural.

"You've done this before, I can tell" Belinda said at a particularly pleasing moment,

"Yes. Or would you rather have me say no?" Kellan asked

"I can't say that at this moment I..." Belinda stopped her words to scream. She tried still to keep her voice low, so that no one could hear.

Kellan stopped what he was doing, "I'm sorry. Is everything alright?" she had never seen him so panicked before.

"Everything is wonderful. Do not worry."

She must have fallen asleep just for a little while after they had finished. She tried to peer at the clock across the room. Half past nine. She was fine. No one would be looking for them. Despite being with the man she loved, she felt wrong to still be naked. Trying not to wake Kellan, she attempted to dress herself.

When she was dressed to the acceptable amount (she had decided that if Kellan had helped to untie her bodice, he could retie it too) she reached for the stack of papers he had given her. Now that he was asleep, she would read over them, taking in every word about passion and love.

She read through them quite quickly. One after the other, some of them were written ways to tell her that he loved her Little plans and schemes, none like what had happened just before.. Others just her name and a series of scribbles. It felt so nice to be the subject of someone else's writing. She thought of her own journals and some of the unpleasant things she had said about him, and felt all the more awful. But she was simply blinded by love.

The next page she read was written in a different handwriting. Slowly, her eyes studied the note.

"Dearest Kellan,

I hope I am not wrong to assume our bet still holds true on sober minds. I am writing this note now, and will make sure it is sent out to you by the time you awake in the next morning. In case you have forgotten, last night you promised to make Belinda Bassett fall in love with you. To make matters more interesting, I will give you 300 pounds myself if you can get it done within the next month. I understand that this is not as much money as you offered (500 pounds), but we cannot all be Earls, now can we? Hoping to see you and Belinda Bassett arm in arm sometime soon.

Best wishes

Lord Connor Fairfield."

Belinda felt her face grow white. She wanted to scream. She wanted to curse. She wanted to hit him.

He didn't feel the same way about her at all. And this wasn't just some simple attempt to woo the unwooable. She had been the butt of some bet between two equally foolish young men. All of those pages, all of those kind words, they must have been falsehoods. She watched her tears fall onto the page.

"I guess we'll have to get married now then," Kellan said, waking up behind her.
She couldn't look at him, "You are a nasty, evil man Kellan Butler."

"What?' He asked

Belinda did not answer. Throwing the papers on the ground, she unlocked the door and headed out back into the St .Clair. manor, tears falling down her face more rapidly. The cold air of night time tickled her half tied back. She could not go back into the ballroom and face embarrassment, but she knew she must speak to her mother right away. Getting deeper and deeper into her aunt and uncle's home, she begged the first servant she saw to fetch her mother discreetly.