Infatuated (book 1)

Chapter 37 - Revelations.

Lord forgive me for the things I've done,
I was never meant to hurt no one.

—ed sheeran, bloodstream.

3rd Person's P.O.V.

"Do you want to stay here or should we—"

"No, let's just stay here and- and get o-over with this please," Justin replied shakily. He was nervous to open up to someone, he was nervous to lose her. What if she doesn't understand that he's helpless? What if she walks away and decides that she deserves better? The horrifying questions in his head made him want to get up and walk away—walk away from trouble, that's what he'd always do.

But now, it was different. Selena was different. She was able to make him forget about his problems and make him smile. She was so beautiful, attentive and intelligent and he knew that he'd be stupid to let this piece of gold go.

And she deserved answers.

"Justin," her voice spoke slowly. "You know you don't have to do this if you don't want to, right?"

"I want to...I want to prove you that I care for you, so much," he told her, his eyes meeting her brown ones and his stomach did a strange flip.

"Okay...go ahead, take your time," she said and leaned back against the couch, waiting for him to break the silence.

And when he did, he knew there was no coming back. "So I've already told you about my father's death and how my mother blamed me for it all because I made him angry this day..."

"Yeah, I do," Selena said, the memory coming back in her head. (a/n: if u don't remember this then go read chapter 31, u bunch of forgetful people:/)

"Well, my mother was really devastated by the news that she had gone...crazy, literally. She couldn't talk or smile for a year or so, she'd talk alone to nobody and it all worried me. As she couldn't work and we weren't the richest people ever, in that shitty part of the town, I had to find a job. God, I still regret every little bit of this," he mumbled to himself and sighed. "I went searching for jobs everywhere but like I told you, we lived in a small town—the fucked up part of that town. People stole, raped and did other illegal things to get money. And there weren't any decent jobs, really. But we really needed money. To pay the rent of our small house and if we didn't pay, we'd be thrown out and we wouldn't have anywhere to live...I could've found another house here or there but I was worried for my mother. What would she do, in the deteriorating mental state that she was?"

Selena was staring at him but he didn't meet her gaze. Instead, he had his hands clamped together in his lap as he stared at the floor and continued to talk, pain evident in his voice. "When I was around fifteen, I met Dylan. He asked me, 'do you need money?' or something in this line and I replied that I did need money so he asked me to come with him and he would make me earn, I quote his words, 'as much money as I'll need for a whole life'. 15 years old me was naïve and in grave need of money so I...I went with him and decided to work for him," he said and laughed bitterly. "I still hate myself for this."

"Why?"

"Because, Selena, his job wasn't like a normal job. It was illegal. It is  illegal. He brought me to a building and I saw many teenagers like me, training and fighting. All of them were poor kids who also needed money, he used our stupidity and our weakness to make us work for him. It wasn't until later that I found out what the job was...it's a company, like the FBI or something like that...except that it wasn't for the good—it was for the bad. He trained people to kill, steal and fight, earning more money than you'll ever imagine.