Daycare// Joshler

11

josh's point of view

we drove a little while longer. "why would you want someone as broken as me? i mean with all the baggage i carry." i scoffed. he was obviously very vulnerable so that was kind of a bad idea, i realized.

"you're not broken. you've just had a bad experience with life. but i've never once thought you were broken." i said, he pulled onto a dirt trail. following it deep into the forest. the sun was coming up, it was about six a.m. now.

"humans break. like glass. i broke a long time ago joshy. why do you think i'm worth something?" he asked and a fury grew inside of me. whatever he's feeling right now is jenna's doing. i know it. i unbuckled and slammed the car door. "fuck fuck fuck," i muttered to myself. "joshy?" tyler called.

"you're not fucking broken okay? and so what if you are! what's wrong with that? everybody's broken to a degree! why can't you just understand i want you. i love you. i am not like jenna. i will never hurt you in the ways she did. she's a fucking bastard. i swear i love you tyler. i love you i love rosie. i'll never hurt you. why can't you understand that you're good enough."

tyler scoffed. "BECAUSE I'M FUCKING BROKEN! I WAS TOLD FOR TWO YEARS STRAIGHT THIS! I WON'T LET YOU BE BROUGHT DOWN WITH ME JOSHUA! I LOVE YOU TOO MUCH!"

he stood there for a second. his lips trembling. his hands shaking. tears ran down his cheeks. "can we please stop yelling now?" i begged. i didn't want to yell at the one i loved.

"we can stop. i just don't understand." he said. "i'd like you to help me understand." he grabbed my hands. "you're different than the.. last person i dated. she was screwed up." i said and he nodded. and for a while there was silence. we both were leaning against the car.

"when i was younger. i wrote this song. it was based on my treehouse. before the whole 'jenna ruined my treehouse' was a thing." he said. "can i hear you sing it ty," i asked. he sat on the ground. messing with the grass and dirt in hand.

he took a deep breath in and i sat next to him. "down in the forest. we'll sing a chorus. one that everybody knows." his voice sounded raw. it sounded beautiful. "quickly moving toward a storm moving forward. torn. into pieces over reasons of these are for. i don't understand why everything i adore takes a different from when i squint my eyes. have you ever done that?

when you squint your eyes? and your eyelashes make it look a little not right and then when just enough life comes from just the right side. and you fine you're not who you're supposed to be." i could see his eyes swelling and tears falling down and down as if he was remembering everything from the treehouse. "THIS NOT WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSE TO SEE! PLEASE! REMEMBER ME!" i put my hand on him. he looked at me.

"remember you? i do remember you. i never forgot. you're so beautiful. your lyrics are so beautiful. everything about you is so beautiful. your voice is so raw. i could listen to it in repeat constantly."

he just blinked at me. "this is not what i had planned. this is not what i had planned." he continued to sing. "down. in. the. forest." he grabbed my hand. "we'll sing a chorus. one that everybody knows. hands held higher. we'll stay on fire. singing songs that everyone knows."

i smiled. "can you sing another one? it doesn't have to be one you made. i just want to hear you sing." i said. "wise men say. only fools rush in. but i can't help. falling in love with you. like a river flows. surely to the sea. darling so it goes some things were meant to be."

he sang. "oh. take my hand." he held mine tighter. "take my whole life too. 'cause i can't help falling in love with you." then he laid my head on my lap and sobbed. I ran my hand through his hair and for a second i felt at peace with the world.

a/n: honestly i love forest, it's such a good song about how growing up sucks. and i wanted to put it in the story, so we have this. one more chapter omg i can't believe it's almost over.