Some Things Cannot Be Fixed, They Can Only Be Carried

Prologue) Pain; There Are Two Kinds

"There are two kinds of pain in this world. The pain that hurts, the pain that alters."

- Denzel Washington

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August 21st 2013

They're standing on the starting blocks.

I feel the tension in my chest growing stronger, knowing how important this race is to Haruka. He hasn't been showing it, but I notice in the way he acts, that he feels a strong urge to win from Rin.

Rin has been his rival for forever, and yet they haven't swum against each other in a proper match for so long. This must be so exciting, yet frightening, because there's no way of knowing who'll win.

They've always been on about the same level after all, so I bet he's at least a little nervous.

"Ready," the announcer's voice sounds over the speakers, loud and clear.

I watch Haruka and Rin take stands. Bend all the way forward in a way that even I can feel the tension that must be running down their spines. Excitement and anticipation, probably.

Go, Haruka! I think to myself, somewhere deep down hoping the message will get to Haruka. He needs that extra push. He wants to do well, I want to help him do well, but all I can do is root for him.

The beep sounds and they jump in. All at, what to the normal eye of a regular spectator probably seems, exactly the same time. But Haruka's dive is a little off, I notice it right away; I guess the pressure of having to beat Rin is getting to him more and more.

He manages to pull himself together and catches up to Rin within a matter of seconds.

"Rin has gotten a lot faster," Nagisa states, but his words barely enter my brain.

I'm too focussed on whatever Haruka's doing, because where he normally shoots through the water like a spear, he's now struggling to pass through the waves.

Haru shouldn't be struggling this much.

"Something's wrong," I mutter to myself, leaning in closer to see if I can notice what's off. But everything seems fine at a first glance; his form the same as always, his mouth taking quick breaths every once in a while and he is moving through the water. Just a lot slower than Rin.

Rin's at the turn already, making a smooth one too. He's too far in front of Haruka, there's no way Haruka can beat his time now. Rin even passes Haruka when going in for the second lap.

My breaths are quick, quicker as Haruka goes in for the turn too.

He goes underwater and turns—

My heart seems to stop beating when he doesn't come to the surface anymore. He's stopped moving, being swept away by the swirling waves made by the other swimmers.

"What are you doing, Haruka," I whisper. I'm searching for a sign that he's okay, but all I get is a sign that he isn't; a whistle blows loud and spectators urge all swimmers to stop. I watch someone jump into the water, near to where Haruka went heads under.

And there he is, my best friend, being pulled out of the pool. He appears limp and lifeless when they drag him onto the tiles and spectators gather around him.

"Haru—" It escapes from my mouth in a cry. My chest feels heavy, my heartbeat faster than ever before, as I try to look for something. Something to show me that Haruka's okay, some expression of relief on the bystanders' faces. But instead I see Rin standing on the other side of the pool with an overwhelming expression of terror on his face.