Some Things Cannot Be Fixed, They Can Only Be Carried

Chapter 5) Suffering; You'll Do It For The Ones You Love

"The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for."

- Bob Marley

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September 25th 2013

Of course, mom wasn't too pleased when I told her about the choice I made; I want to take care of Haruka for as long as I'll have to. I care much more about my best friend than about leading a normal, easy life; I don't mind dropping out of high school or having to move out at seventeen.
But mom does, she kept holding onto her wanting me to live a happy, normal life. But after pulling an all-nighter, talking everything over with her, she's allowed me to speak Hiroshi about it.

She said she'd rather not have me decide on such a life changing thing so early in life, but she also wants to be by my side to support me now that she knows I'm really not going to change my mind. She realizes that I need to do this, that I'm not going to live out my entire life, knowing that I could've saved my best friend's life if I'd just tried. And she will do everything to help me through this.

That's why, today, I'm heading to the hospital to talk with Hiroshi. To tell him not to listen to Haruka's parents, but instead to leave Haruka's care up to me; someone so young shouldn't die yet.

I feel my heart racing as I walk through the hallways, rehearsing what I'm about to tell Hiroshi over and over again so I sound certain instead of hesitant. But in all honestly, I'm very anxious.

I reach Hiroshi's office, and see him already waiting for me in the doorway; I let him know I was coming today, and we made an appointment for this time, even though it's actually his break. I told him it was urgent, en so it is; my best friend's life is on the line here.

"Good afternoon, Tachibana," Hiroshi says, greeting me with a polite smile. "Why don't you sit down? I'll get you a glass of water and then we can start right away."

I tell him I don't need anything to drink, and sit down. He takes the hint and sits down as well.

"So," he mutters, leaning with his elbows on the table. "You wanted to talk to me about Nanase?"

I nod. "Yes, about his—" I swallow. "His parents' decision; I think it's wrong."

Hiroshi asks me why I think it's a wrong decision. "It is up to them, after all, and if they think it's a better call to pull the plug on him—"

"But," I interrupting, not minding myself being rude right now. "Haruka's too young to die. I mean, I get that they might not want to give up their life to take care of him. That is up to them." I try to calm my nerves, knowing that if I say anything wrong now, I might mess up my only chance. "But they shouldn't get to decide whether Haruka lives or not."

"Okay, and who's going to take care of Haruka if they don't?"

I close my eyes briefly and nod. "I will."

It feels so nice to say that out loud; I will take care of Haruka, that's what I've been waiting to say for quite a while now. Even before his parents decided on the fact that they weren't, I had subconsciously already decided that if Haruka would be like that for a while, it'd be my job to take care of him.

What doesn't feel nice is Hiroshi's reaction; a blunt "I don't know if that's possible".

"Why not?" I shake my head. "All you need is someone to take care of Haruka while he's like this, right? It doesn't have to be Haruka's parents, right? It could be me too."