Some Things Cannot Be Fixed, They Can Only Be Carried

Chapter 11) New World; Just Outside Of My Comfort Zone

"You're going to feel uncomfortable in your new world for a bit.
It always does feel strange to be knocked out of your comfort zone."

- Jojo Moyes

∙

♥

∙

June 23rd 2014

Taking one week off shouldn't be this big of a deal, yet I've been putting it off for over two months. Mom isn't particularly happy about it, but I had my reasons for not wanting to take a break just yet.

My main reason was that Haruka was on antibiotics, which caused him to be a little off. I wanted to be near him until I was completely sure that his kidney infection was gone and he was off antibiotics.

Other than that, I haven't been feeling great either; not long after Haruka was released from the hospital, I found out that the fevers, nausea and aches I've been having weren't all stress-related. I had caught a "nice" flu somewhere, probably at the hospital, and was running on less than empty; pushing on with a thirty-nine Celsius and a nauseating headache for three entire weeks. That's when Hiroshi finally told me that, if I didn't stop working my ass of right then and there, he would have to hospitalize me instead of Haruka. So, mom stayed over at my house for four days and took care of both Haruka and me until my fever had gone down.

After that, I took fulltime care of Haruka for another month, before finally fulfilling my promise.

There are no problems with Haruka's overall health at the moment, so mom told me that if I was going to fulfill my promise, I had to do it now. That's why right now, I'm sitting on the floor of Haruka's bedroom, packing a suitcase for his week at the care home mom was talking about.

"You're going to have a fun time, I promise," I tell Haruka, as I put another outfit into his suitcase. "I know it's not exactly like you to spend a week at a place with many other people, but you're going to be back with me again on your birthday; this way we both have something to look forward to, am I right?"

I turn to Haruka. He isn't even focused on me. He's already sitting in his wheelchair, and he's very busy glaring out the window. He's taking in the view of the ocean; he won't be seeing it for seven entire days after all. That's one thing he'll probably miss, maybe even more than he'll miss me. But at least the care home is near a beach as well and their website says that they often take their clients for long walks along the beach, which I'm sure Haruka will love.

I close the suitcase after putting the last things inside of it; it's become quite a heavy suitcase, carrying all Haruka's medication, formulas, clothes, diapers, towels and much more stuff they need to take proper care of him. To make sure I haven't forgotten anything, when making the list of things he needed I double checked it four times before putting all the things in his suitcase one by one.

"Are you ready?" I ask Haruka after getting on my feet. "For your little vacation?"

Haruka probably doesn't realize this, but he's actually very lucky, being able to spend a couple of days at a luxury hotel-like care home. Because even when mom says that this should be a break for me, it's not like I'm taking full time off. I know I wouldn't be able to deal with that after taking twenty-four seven care of Haruka for almost an entire year already.

My promise to mom was that I'll take a break from taking care of Haruka, not from everything. That's why I contacted coach Sasabe about a week ago, asking him if I could spend my break helping out at the elementary swim club. I would rather spend my time working with a group of five-year-olds than just lazing around.

So, while Haruka is going to be spending his days being massaged, taking walks past the beach and other holiday-like stuff, I'll be working at Iwatobi SC RETURNS. Yet, that feels like vacation, not work to me.