Me instead of you

8: Budding Love

Jin Zixuan was proud of himself. Growing up in a rich sect as a sect heir he had everything he needed at his finger tips.  He had heard all those murmurings of him being arrogant, it had trailed him everywhere he went. He liked to call it self love. He had everything one could ask, but he did not have many people who he could love. He had his mother, his dogs and his father. But as he grew up his love for his father slipped away. He had come to hate the man. His father, Sect Leader Jin Guangshan, was a man know for his strength and cunning, but he was more famed for leaving bastard children on his trail as he visited different places. Jin Zixuan had never had any friends, those who he had dared to call friends were just pawns sent by their parents to suck up to the Jin sect through the sect heir. Jin Zixuan had lost trust faster than water slipping through one's hand. Jin Zixuan's love was not easily won. 

He loved dogs. People called it as infatuation worth to make him the laughing stock of Lanling. Jin Zixuan had made his bragging both as a weapon to drive away annoying ones and as an announcer for his pride in himself.  The only one who had genuinely listened to his bragging was Jiang Yanli. She... she was an angel for Jin Zixuan. The epitome of simple beauty. She had a gentle hold on Jin Zixuan's heart  from the moment they had met, in the garden with her holding Little Hui as if he were a treasure and looking at him with those beautiful eyes, Jin Zixuan had been terrified. He was afraid she's was one of those people who wanted to be close to him just for his wealth and power, not for himself. Jin Zixuan was too much of a coward to get too close to her just to get his heart broken.  Jin Zixuan had acted cold to her, scoffed at her advances, every time  his heart had thumped with hope. Jin Zixuan had felt unworthy of her attention, her affection. His doubts had made formed cold actions and his cowardice caused him to pick a fight with Wei Wuxian and break the engagement. 

What's done is done. 

Jin Zixuan sat at the edge of the platform of the pavilion he had once over heard from Jiang Yanli's conversation with another maiden, was her favourite. His feet swung over the water, the toes of his boots skimming the water, rippling the surface and causing the reflection of the dusk to distort. He sat there staring at the fading traces of the setting sun. He watched as the blue crept  from the horizon dotted with faint stars. Jin Zixuan wished he could enjoy the beauty, his twinging heart did not make it easy. 

"Young Master Jin" he jumped, nearly falling into the water.  He whirled around to see Jiang Yanli standing behind her, the setting  sun casted shadows on her form, making her face unreadable and giving her an air of mystery. Jin Zixuan stood up his heart beating a fast rhythm. He looked down at her, Jiang Yanli's big eyes were sparkling as she looked up at him, tinted with worry. Jin Zixuan walked closer, leaving only a few feet between them. 

Jiang Yanli lowered her gaze when he came to stand in front of her. The light hit her just in the right angles when she shifted, making Jin Zixuan's cheeks flame red. He could die with how beautiful she looked. Jiang Yanli's eyes fluttered up to his. He hoped it was her blush that covered her smooth skin instead of his own being reflected. They spent a few moments in wary silence, not knowing what to say. Jiang Yanli spoke up, "I am sorry for A-Xian. I heard you fought" Well, that kind of broke the mood. Jin Zixuan's heart pounded in the confines of his ribs. He couldn't hear her over the loud beating as she apologised for her brother's action and wished there would not be any friction between their sects after this. Jin Zixuan was distracted between soaking up Jiang Yanli's beauty and trying not faint from high blood pressure. She looked like a glowing ember caught between purple gentians. Simple but beautiful. 

"You're beautiful" Jin Zixuan breaths out. His voice a whisper carried by the wind that smells of lotuses. Jiang Yanli stopped talking, her cheeks coloured red. She was more worried that Jin Zixuan would faint with how red he had become. Jiang Yanli was going to ask when  she felt hands press against her shoulder blades and strong arms wrap around her body. Jiang Yanli's body collided with her companion's. This was the closest and the most physical they had ever gotten. Jiang Yanli could feel the comforting thunder of Jin Zixuan's heartbeat against her ear, her own heart matching the uneven rhythm. 

"I like you" Jin Zixuan says against her hair and gasps in surprise, as if he had not meant to say that. Jin Zixuan was going to pull back when he felt hands on his robes that kept his from moving. He felt his entire body heat up with embarrassment. Jiang Yanli laughed against his chest, her sound like chimes ringing through the gentle breeze. She pulled her head back to look up at him. Her cheeks were red, her lips pulled into the widest of smiles. "I like you too" she whispered back and buried her head back into his chest. Jin Zixuan felt relief greater than all the pavilions in Lotus Pier combined.