Heart Like Yours

Chapter 10: wood

She wanted to explore, not just to be there. So she set off further into the woods near her school, heart beating loudly in her ears despite the fact that she was still very close to her school. She still had the chance to go further in, and try to pretend away the emotions some more. Of course, that hadn't worked, and she was feeling rather brave, so she dismissed that idea right away. It'd done nothing but cause her trouble the past few weeks. She'd stay on the path, that way even if something did happen, at least she knew the way home.

She'd been walking for a while, enjoying the sunlight through the trees and thankful that she'd given into her want, when she noticed something.

Whatever it was, it shone brightly. She couldn't take her eyes off of it. Something inside of her was telling her to touch it, and no matter how the logical part of her told her not to, she couldn't seem to fight it. She reached out, gently running her fingers over the object. It pulsed under her fingertips. Normally, that would have scared her off. However, it only intrigued her. She grabbed the object, pulling it closer so she could get a proper look at it. It was round, but easy to grab and heavy, but somehow easy to move. Like it was helping her move it.

"What are you?" She didn't expect a reply. It chirped loudly, three times. She dropped it, panicking. It was alive, and didn't seem too happy with her having touched it. She backed up, but it was too late. It'd started to float, and it got brighter. So much brighter she couldn't stand to look at it. She heard it behind her, chirping and humming. She started to run, but no matter how fast she ran, she could hear it, just as loud and just as close.

She tripped, and without thinking, looked back. It was so bright, and loud. Too bright. Too loud. It took over her senses. She couldn't see anything but it's light, couldn't feel anything but the vibrations of the noises it was making, couldn't hear anything over it all. There was nothing but the thing. It was somehow worse than the nothingness she'd always imagined as her ending. Never being able to return to Mirkwood.

The somethingness (that's all she could think to call it- the opposite of nothingness) went as quickly as it came, leaving no indication that it had ever been there, but a lingering ringing in her ears and an edge to her sight. Then everything went black.

She often wished she'd stayed home that day, because she found herself empty without the somethingness. There was nothing that would replace it; not the loudest of songs, or the brightest of sunshine. She was left trying to recreate a feeling that she'd hated at the time. But she was glad she had touched it. Or she wouldn't be home.

It hurt, trying to recreate the feeling, but it never hurt as much. It didn't feel real enough, and all she was looking for was to prove that it had been real to herself, no matter how much it hurt.