Guess what? Life happened.

Chapter 13

I’ve been calling Roxie nonstop the entire morning but she was not picking up. We were supposed to go to the mall together but apparently she has ditched me. Her mother told me she left early this morning for dance practice but I knew it was not possible. The dance team won their last competition last week and the next one wasn’t until the end of the year. It would be plain crazy for them to not take a break and just jumped right into practice for a competition in May while November had barely make an appearance. And I knew they always took a couple of weeks break in-between competitions.

She had a new boyfriend. That was my immediate conclusion because that was the number one reason why she would lie to her mother. Her mother didn’t allow her to date because she said there was no way she could handle three boys and a dating teenage daughter at once. Like most normal teenagers, she went behind her back. I think Mrs. Angus suspected it but she had too much on her plates besides picking fights with her daughter.

I secured my sweater on my body getting ready for the onslaught of cold that will knock me out as soon as I stepped out of the car. I turned off the ignition and got out. No matter how prepared I was for this cold, it always caught me off-guard. I plunged my hands deep inside my pockets hoping to warm but nothing happened. I rose my head to the sky, watching the snow falling freely on the ground. It reminded me of Christmas past when my mother and I would play hide and seek around the house, build a snowman, and pick a snowball with my father. He used to complain how unfair it was since it was two against one. It was one of the reasons why he wanted to have a son but unfortunately it never happened.

 I hastily ran into the house to hide under my warm blankets away from the cold. I impatiently fumbled with my keys before unlocking the door and got home free. Taking off my heavy sweater and my snow boots, I was about to get comfortable when I heard two familiar voices coming from the kitchen.

“You have to tell her Jimmy. It’s not only about you, it affects her life too.” Jill’s firm voice resonated.

“Don’t you think I know that? I tried to tell her but I just couldn’t make myself do it. She’ll hate me.” My dad sounded defeated. I quietly approached the kitchen as not to make any noise.

“She’s going to hate you even more if she finds out from somebody else.”

“But you’re the only one else who knows. What exactly are you trying to say Jill?”

And then she uttered the words that would forever rock my world, the words I would never believe was true if they were coming out of any other person’s mouth, “I’m saying if you don’t tell your daughter that you’re not really sick and you faked that letter to guilt her into staying in town with you, I will do it.”

Blood pounded in my ears, beads of sweat was dripping from my tightly closed fists, fume was rising from my pores as tears began to stream down my face. It was impossible, there was no way my father could be so manipulative. He wanted what was best for me so he couldn’t possibly trap in this town.

“You did what?” I forced the words out of my dry throat. I heard how rough and hurt my voice sounded. The two unexpected adults turned to me with baffled look as if they were little children caught doing something really naughty.

 “That’s impossible. You wouldn’t do that, right dad?” I saw my dad’s mouth opened and closed without saying a word. “You don’t know what you’re talking about Jill. My dad’s not that sneaky. Tell her dad, tell her she’s wrong about you.” My voice rose involuntarily.

“Oh Nikkie, I’m so sorry you had to find out like this.” Jill approached me with a remorseful air. She went for a hug but I brushed her off. She was a liar and she was trying to bring my dad down with her.

“Shut up, Jill. Just shut the hell up because you have no idea what you’re talking about. My dad would never do something as despicable as this. He loves me and wants what’s best for me. He would never hurt me like that. He won’t, he can’t do this to me.”

“Jimmy, say something.” Jill begged him my dad’s eyes were glued to the floor.

“Dad, say something. Tell her she’s wrong. Tell her to stop lying and you really have leukemia. You wouldn’t fake something as huge as that,” huge sobs were gushing out of me but I hiccupped every time I tried to stop them. “Say something. Please dad.”

A pair of gray eyes met mine but they were not my father’s. Those were filled with remorse and guilt. They were glassy as if he was retained the water that threatened to surge out them. “Nikkie, I’m sor…”

“No, don’t you dare say you’re sorry.” I interrupted him. Wiping away my tears, I prepared for the worse with my shoulders squared, “If you say you’re sorry that means you did it and that’s not true. You didn’t. You wouldn’t. Please tell me you didn’t do it.”

“I can’t.” Those two little words were like a sword to my heart and looking at him made it twist restlessly inside of me.

“Then, you’re dead to me.”

I watched the last glimpse of light in his eyes die as my words registered in his mind. His shoulders slumped down as if he just lost his most important battle. My heart ached for him, I wanted to go to him and forgive him but what he did was unforgivable. It made me sick to think he would do something like that. I knew parents don’t like when their little ones leave the nest but faking a terminal disease was beyond insane. I was disgusted just by looking at him. I no longer saw my father but the man who attempted to crush my dreams with a made-up story. I actually believed him. I was ready to give up my most precious dream to help get through this. I guess I should have known something was up when he refused to go the hospital for checkups or never showed any symptoms of someone who barely had a few years left. He was never depressed but guilty.

He pressed his hands over his chest as he began to groan. He fell on his back, knocking over the potted Winter Cherry. Tears stained his cheeks and shirt but I didn’t care anymore. He was probably acting again, hoping that I would fall once more in his trap. He was so wrong, he couldn’t get to me no more. I wanted out of this house, I wanted him out of my life. Why couldn’t he die already? I wouldn’t need to see his face anymore if he was.

“Jim, Jimmy. What’s wrong? Talk to me?” said Jill dropping to her knees, holding his head on her lap but he kept on groaning.

“He’s probably acting again.” I replied nauseated by my father’s action. “You probably should stop acting now before karma catch up to you and give you what you’ve been begging for all along with your fake Leukemia tale.” I dried my tears with the palm of my hands then walked out of the kitchen determined to get as much distance away from this man who took over my father’s body.

However, before I got far, Jill was screaming my name, “Nikkie, call an ambulance. He’s not responding.”

I hesitated, she participated in his scheme before so she might be doing the same thing. “Oh God, I can’t feel his pulse” Jill sobbed.

I sprinted back to the kitchen to see my dad lying on the floor. I dropped next to him, my knees weakened by fear, “Dad, dad. Dad, this is not funny. Answer me.” I shouted at him while shaking his body but he stayed silent. I faintly heard a frantic Jill snapping at the emergency responders for their lack of speed.

I prayed and prayed this was just a horrible misunderstanding. I begged my dad to answer me but all I had back was his body lying on the floor. I was on the bridge to explode when I finally heard the sirens coming.

“You hear that Jimmy. They are here to save you, just hold on a little bit longer and I’ll laugh at your stupid corny turkey jokes at Thanksgiving.” Jill bargained with my silent father.

I had the feeling those were futile promises. My heart told me he was not going to be sitting at the table on Thanksgiving, he was not going to attempt to make a disaster out of our Christmas dinner, and he was not going to pretend to be sick on New Year’s Eve so he can miss the mass. There was a faint hope in me that made me hold on to the idea that he might come back. What wouldn’t I give to make this come true? I would forgive him if he could just come back to me but my mind told me otherwise.