Guess what? Life happened.

Chapter 15

“Ladies and gentlemen, we are gather here today to celebrate the life of a fellow friend and family member. Jimmy Craig was a loving father and who have been taking from us…”

I didn’t want to hear all that. I already knew all about my dad and how he died. It was my fault just like mom’s death. I didn’t see the reason why I had to be here listening to that priest talking about my father like he knew him. He didn’t just like half of those people crying over his body. I never saw any of them helping when we were struggling. They were not there when he was alive why were they here “honoring” him after he was dead. Why? Why?

Jill and Roxie had to drag me out of bed for me to come. I was submerged under a long cold shower to clean the body I’ve been neglecting for more than two weeks. They forced me into a dress then the car. I’ve already said my last goodbyes to my dad, I didn’t need a bunch of people I barely knew to be present for me to say goodbye to my dad.

Solemnly I watched the snow fall on the ground covering the usually blossoming greenery with white. Oddly enough, there was merely any flakes of snow on the coffin. The cold air was freezing my bones but it didn’t affect me. My heavy heart made it impossible for me to feel anything. My thoughts came back to the funeral when I felt a strong arms around my waist. I turned to see Ken standing next to me in a black suit and tie coated by snowflakes. It was the first time I’ve seen him in two weeks. I’ve been avoiding everyone by locking myself inside Jill’s guest room. I would have starve to death if she hadn’t come up daily with a tray of food and practically forced feed me. I didn’t know what happened. I was usually excellent at hiding my emotions and putting a composed front for everyone but not this time.

 I leaned into Ken grateful for the support. I stood watching the coffin that contained my father’s body. It didn’t occur to me that I was crying until Ken wiped away my tears with his palm. “It’s going to be okay” he whispered in my ear, placing a soft kiss on my cheek.

An uncomfortable feeling on my chest told me that somebody was observing my every move. I lifted my gaze to find none other than Jake’s eyes focused on me. What was he doing here? He wasn’t related to my family as far as I knew and there was no way he could be call a family friend. The last time I saw him was at the police station when he gave me back my phone. I tried looking for him at school but lost hope after the first few weeks with no results.

He didn’t stop staring so I narrowed my eyes at him. He smirked smugly at me. Someone cleared their throat, every pair of eyes were on me.

“Babe, it’s time to say goodbye to your dad, first” Ken reminded of the ritual I was taking part of. I walked up, carefully placed the white rose that Jill gave me on the coffin. I went back to my place besides ken and everyone started to follow suit one by one.

In less than ten minutes I was left all alone in the cemetery watching my dad being lowered in to the ground. Each inch increased the distance between my dad and me. We will no longer share any father-daughter moments, awkward meals. He won’t be cooking his disastrous dishes. I’ll never see him again.

“Nikkie?” interrupted a voice next to me.

I turned to see Kyle looking at me under his eyelashes. I rose my eyebrows at him silently asking him why he was interrupting my moment with my dad.

“I just wanted to say I’m sorry about your dad.”

“It wasn’t your fault so you don’t have to say sorry Kyle. But thanks.”

I turned my head toward the coffin, silently dismissing him. However, he didn’t move, he stayed next to me shifting on his feet.

“Is there something else?” I demanded irritated for losing precious alone time with my father.