I'm sorry

chp 8

tw warning : hosp!tal sett!Ng

continuous of Ash's back story - last part
time : 8 months ago

" She's doing okay right now .. Why does she have so many scars on her body , it does look very serious at the moment if she doesn't clean it properly and get proper treatment . " I overheard the doctor talking to mother beside the bed frame in the hospital room.

I could smell a burning smell coming from machines near me and my taste buds were all bland .

The er lights black out blindly , blinding my vision slowly , the smell of blood also wavered in thin hair , making me slightly quiver .

I could hear slow muffled screams and shouting from other rooms and looked down at my self .

" ohh.. about that .. she fell down the railing to a deep drain and we manage to safe her but we didn't know it would be that serious ! Oh my .. " she faked her tone again and faked the situation .

Both my mother and doctor was misgendering me and calling me by she pronouns , this made me really annoyed so I opened my eye lid slowly , I realise that they were in pain so I closed it .

I raised my hair and touched my eye lids and realise there was some ointment on it .

" don't worry , dear . don't touch it , it's to relieve the pain . " the doctor slowly approached me .

" I'm Mrs randall , nice to meet you , I will be attending to you today . " Doctor Randall told me politely .

I gave her a plain stare as I tried to open my eyes again and nodded slowly .

" Darling ! Are you okay ? " my mother asked , I could tell she cried for many hours as those eyes looked similar to the ones I always saw .

" I'm fine . " I looked away from her , suddenly remembering the position and how dad and sister died I covered my mouth and my eyes shot back pain and I closed it .

" I'm very sorry , daddy and your little sister ... they passed away .. I don't know what to do . " she touched me by my hand .

I wanted to shake her hand off but I realised that Doctor Randall was still there . It would have seem insensitive to her instead .

I looked down to the blanket and asked , " what are we going to do now .. "

" oh sweetie , I'm planning to move to one of the rental houses near the next town .. I've signed the papers already , we do not have much money to live inside the house anymore . I'm planning your dad's and sister's funeral too .. I'm very sorry I couldn't protect them .. " she said all in one breath before breathing loudly again , I could tell she was going to cry .

At the moment , I felt bad . if it wasn't for me , maybe Carol and Father wouldn't have died , I started to tear up but told myself to suck it up .

my mother cupped my face in denial , " if only you were the one there instead of your sister . "

that kind of broke me.

a tear fell out of my eye .

" they wouldn't have died  ... " she cupped it further and gave me a sickening look .

Dr. Randall looked innocently back to us and quickly went out of the room .

shit .

" it's all your fault . " she boomed .

she squashed my face with both of her palms , " just you . "

I fell back to my bed in a fallen state and more tears fell out .

what is this ..

what have I became ?

( end of back story )
short part to end it off

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word count : 601
chapter 8
( short part )
- end of back story of Ash , I will be continuing back to where she met Connor and fought with him .

song recommendation : Haunted - Laura Les