Title: The Last Philosopher (@NickfEast)
The title makes me think of Harry Potter, consequently Lyeasrakardsul reminds me of Dumbledore. Except I like Lyeasrakardsul more.
Audience: New adult
Genre: Fantastic humor
That's not praise, although I did enjoy the story. I'm pretty sure fantastic is the descriptor form of fantasy... pretty sure.
Initial thoughts: This seems like a fun story, the potential for highfalutin jargon is a smidge high for my liking but that's the consequence of having a story that relies on philosophy as a main factor.
Hook - It's exactly as a hook should be. It's brought in right away, it made me interested, and mentions of it kept me interested through the next few chapters.
Characters - I assume we won't see Dick and Huam again but your personification of a black hole was hilarious while it lasted. Aside from those two and brief mentions of the Darkness, the only character we get a good look at is Lyeasrakardsul -- a grumpy old wizard.
I mean...
High sorcerer.
I found Lyeasrakardsul concerningly relatable, as I too am a grumpy, achy old man who talks to his own reflection while in the throes of self-inflicted insomnia.
Throughout the chapters I read he was written with stable and even characterization. His actions and demeanor made sense, everything you added about him worked with everything that had been previously established, and it all related back to the plot and setting well. The bunny slippers were a little out of place, but not jarringly so. It was just strange to imagine all the spooky atmospheric wizard stuff and then bam! Pink bunny slippers right in the middle of it. This is humour though, a little shock is good for that sort of thing.
Syntax - I was pleasantly surprised by the lack of highfalutin jargon. Nothing to make my brain hurt. The deadpan humor was right up my alley and I did that little nose-exhale thing several times. That's good, you know, some comedians work hard for that.
The humor element wasn't overpowering either; imagery and characterization are also both strengths here. It all mixes really well to carry moi, the reader, through three chapters of what was essentially worldbuilding.
Technicality - Passed with flying colors.
Formatting - There were some hiccups with line breaks. I know Wattpad messes with that sometimes so if I were you I'd comb through the chapters in preview mode and adjust as needed.
The pictures at the start of every chapter were a nice touch, it shows you've put a lot of time and effort into this project.
For the purposes of a review the epitaphs sort of got in the way. I ended up reading five 'chapters' because reading a chapter and two epitaphs didn't feel fair. You might want to mention that set up when applying to other review books. However for the purposes of reading they were fine.
Final thoughts:
9.5/10, would continue reading. I have to take half a point off for the formatting but otherwise I liked what I read.
