Title: That One Cup of Coffee (@IdolFairyx )
Coffee shop AUs are cute.
Audience: Young adult/Adult
New adult is the category that fits between young adult and adult.
Genre: Romance/Teen fiction
Again touching on the age categories, I would recommend leaving it as plain Romance. A new adult romance is simpler and easier to understand than a young adult/adult romance/teen fiction.
Initial thoughts: Coffee shop au let's goooo.
Hook - I can't tell if the hook is supposed to be cute or creepy. If it's supposed to be creepy, you're doing a good job.
Characters - Again, I'm not sure if Mystery Coffee Gentleman is supposed to be intriguing or a major creep.
Okay but first, Alex seems really sweet and endearing, and Sasha is annoying, as she is meant to be. As far as these characterizations go, spot on!
Back to Mystery Coffee Dude. As someone who works in customer service, a customer demanding I sit with them would be a major red flag. Also as someone who is socially anxious, much like Alex, getting hit on by customers is not cute.* It's not fun. Especially not when the customer behaves the way Mystery Coffee Dude behaved. I felt bad for Alex, and if that was intentional then good! You've mastered writing the creepy customer no one in the service industry likes.
Syntax - The atmosphere was cozy and the writing style was smooth. I think the style does lean more towards the young adult/teen fiction side of things but from what I can tell the content is romance/new adult. There are lots of older people who enjoy YA writing styles though, so that's not a problem.
Technicality - The tense shuffled around a bit. Sometimes it's present and sometimes it's past.
Formatting - All clean here.
Final thoughts:
7.5/10 It could be a cute, light read but I'm still not sure if Mystery Coffee Dude is the one we're supposed to be rooting for.
Extra: *Disclaimer I base this statement off my own experience and the experiences of other people I've worked with. Obviously not everyone feels the same way. But General message to the public if you think your waiter or bellhop or bank secretary is attractive, shoot your shot. It's fine. But take 'no' for an answer the first time. Thank you.
