Title: The Butterfly Effect (@AdriannaRaines3172 )
Audience: 16-25
Genre: Mystery/Thriller
Initial thoughts: This looks very well-put-together.
Hook: Murder!
It's certainly an effective hook, and I like that we get mystery texts right away to double down.
Characters: The cast is quite large but the characters are written with enough distinction that I never felt confused. I can't say I felt particularly attached to any of them but they all seemed well developed from what I saw.
Maeve is lowkey racist but I think that's intentional.
Syntax: It's decent. There were places, especially in chapter 2, where April's dialogue got clunky. On a similar note, chapter 2 was very dialogue heavy with a chunk of it being just dialogue followed by dialogue with minimal description. That part I felt could have used more description for the sake of tone and pacing.
Very rarely do I read books on Wattpad that I would consider to be ready for line editing rather than content editing but this could be one of them. The first three chapters anyways.
Technicality: Someone knows how to use a grammar checker, good job.
Formatting: A lot of work went into the graphics and design of this story. I appreciate the effort and to some degree it does pay off. However the sheer amount of graphics did get overwhelming.
I wasn't a fan of the author's notes at the start and end of every chapter either. Wattpad's formatting doesn't lend itself to a/n's the way some other sites do, and as someone who is just here to read the story I don't love that it's sandwiched between graphics and author's notes.
Final thoughts:
8/10 If you want to read a Pretty Little Liars-esque story this is the one for you!
Don't quote me on that, I've never seen PLL. But, this story does get down to business captivating its audience and I, for one, would be interested in finding out who's behind all this spooky business.
