A Two Year Desire

Chapter Eleven

A/n - long ass chapter but it's sooo good my favorite!!

I found a video today. A video of us two years ago. I never realised how happy I was he might have just been a fling but it didn't feel like it. He was more than a friend but less than a boyfriend. I did like Mathias I will admit it he was everything I looked for in a guy but something was missing. We or I might have been happy but I keep trying to remember that what happened was two years ago we were different people. That night showed me who he really was he opened my eyes and showed me what it would of been like if something was to happen.

April 18 the night I wanted to tell him I had feelings for him but before I can say anything he ended it first. He was the first ever guy I would have admitted my feelings to I usually have a tendency to push others away before they can leave me but with Mathias I wanted to actually tell him I don't know what came over me to actually say something but im glad I didn't Im glad he ended it before I did a stupid thing like admit I liked him.

"Hey? Lin why are you acting so weird?" he laughs taking a seat beside me on my bed. Im so nervous I've never done anything like this before. What if I tell him how I feel and he laughs in my face? I would be ruined. How could my heart betray me like this? Why did it make me like him?

He's annoying

but has an amazing body

he hates you

Is there a possibility he can like me back? maybe. maybe not?

How do girls do this? what am I supposed to say?

'hey you! I like you and want to stop goofing around instead I want something real?'

no, too forward

'sup dude I like you?'

too manly

'Hey little munchkin want to be my donut?'

Absolutely not too weird and corny

'Hey you're hot I'm hot, date me?'

It could be a option

'if you were on fire I would give you my last glass of water?'

he's too slow he wouldn't get it

'Hey mathias tell me you like me for real no games'

No you're supposed to tell HIM YOUR feelings not the other way around

'Mathias I like you deal with it'

good as it gets now tell him!

Okay!

"Mathias I-" he put his hand up for me to stop talking for a second before he started "I need to tell you something" He says a little too serious for my liking

"Yea?"

"I don't want to keep fooling around anymore" He says nervously.

"Im confused what are you trying to say?"

Is he going to ask me out? Omg! this works for me because I don't have to tell him!

"We need to stop whatever we have I think it's time-" I cut him off

oh

I really wished I hadn't planned what I did.

"Yeah me too! Im so glad you said it I was just thinking about us and I want to start seeing someone else for real you understand right? Plus we suck together and we both know what we're doing well we used to do was never going anywhere " I ramble trying not to sound too hurt by his words before. If someone was going to break my heart It couldn't be him. I had to break my own by saying something. Anything. I really need to save myself from him.