A Two Year Desire

Chapter Fifty

Mathias

I never realized how much of an Idiot I am, I sat on my bed thinking how much of a jerk I have been this whole week lets go over shall we

One, I stood her up 10 points

Two, Didn't call to apologize whatsoever and thought she would just get over it, Wow 20 points more! Greatest jerk goes to not me there are greater jerks in the world and I might be one but hell to the fuck not am I the leader. Maybe in her eyes though I might be the founder of them though.

Since she's not responding to my messages I make a plan in my head that might backfire and get dressed but as I'm opening the doors to exit my home I'm met with the  brunette I left standing the other night. She has makeup running down her eyes as if she was crying.

Did I cause that?

"Shut it you aren't this special to make me cry just hug me please" more tears fall as she drops her head on my chest sobbing.

"Are you okay?"

"Do I look ok?"

"No" I say hesitatingly "There's your answer" she laughs. "Fucking jerk"

"Yeah I'm the founder" I shrug she looks up sideways "Your leaving Jesus Christ first I cry in the Taco Bell drive through line and then I come in here crying when you're about to leave" she wipes her eyes as she turns to leave but I catch her arm and hug her like she asked earlier.

"You smell like shit" I laugh

"Thanks"

"You're an ass"

"And a dick head" here we go "a piece of shit"

"Unshaved ballsack son of a bitch"

"Okay that's enough" she laughs "I mean it" she looks up with her teary eyes if someone caused this what could've I caused that night?

"I know you do and I'm sorry" I let her come in and lead her to my couch. She sits but her knees are brought up to her chest as if she's hugging herself.

"My dad returned" she says softly, as I'm about to try and respond she looks up at me as I hand her her favorite cup of tea "He is?" she nods

"He wants 'our family' back" she scoffs at her father's nonsense. I never really knew much about her dad but I've always heard bad stuff about him from the twins they both are not the type to talk about their parents but when they do it's short. We sit in silence for a few minutes before she changes the topic.

"Am I not good enough for you?"

"No, Never think that you are more than good enough for me" a tear starts to roll down my cheek. I've never cried over a girl, not even when I got my heart broken for the first time by a girl back in freshman year. "Stop saying shit you don't mean please" She begs wiping her eyes, her chocolate brown eyes are stug red she's been crying for hours and she just now came over just to break her own heart all over again I know what i'm causing her, all I cause is pure hurt to her but I can't seem to get away as much as I try she draws me back to her. She's like the drug I'm addicted to. She fills my mind and heart completely.

"I do mean it I promise" I beg her to believe me but a part of me is also trying to convince myself? If I loved her as much as I try and say I do would I have done what I did?

"If you did you would have showed up" She sniffles, I notice her nose is pink, even crying she is the most beautiful girl "You said you loved me"

"I did.. I do" I correct myself "Mathias" she grabs the side of my face with her small palm wiping the tears that don't stop from coming "Lin we can be better I can be better we..."