A Two Year Desire

Chapter Twenty Four

My dad isn't an affectionate person well sorry was never affectionate, mom wasn't either they aren't horrible parents but they're also not the best I should be happy and grateful for all that I have and all that they've given me instead of complain about them. I might sound like an entitled bitch who just has mommy and daddy issues but at this point in society who doesn't.

Some don't, I'm envious of those people those kids who have loving and supporting parents that would do anything and everything for them parents that you can go and tell them the worst thing in the world and they would still love the hell out of you. I envy the kids who grew up with parents that stayed with them all night because they were scared of the dark or they accidentally yelled at you for something small like not picking up you're toys but at the end of the night they come to you're room and explain to you how much they love you and didn't mean to "burst out" on you when in reality it was nothing but a simple small yell.

Instead I'm stuck with a mom and dad that from since the day I was born until I was 5 they treated me like a princess and my brother a prince we had anything and everything we wanted we were spoiled I won't lie.

But that's all we were spoiled we were never given kisses good night or bed time stories from them at least. We had this nannie that we grew very close with especially me her name was titi she was like my mom I called her that when my actual mom wasn't around Nico did too. She was the best thing that could happen to us until one night she passed away when I was 15 My parents moved out of the house and into a pent house on top of they're business building which my mom currently lives at when we were 10 which is why they hired her. No one actually knows she doesn't live with us not even our friends mostly because we think it's inconvenient for them to know so we tell them that she's always out doing stuff or on a business trip which they believe because most of the time she is on trips.

When they hired her when we were four as a part time nanny at first until when they moved out she became full time.

Tito was my biggest blessing and the reason I'm still standing today. Her death was a tragedy to Nico and I but no one seemed to care about it yes, we had some sympathy for some time but that faded away faster than lightning I didn't know how to cope and neither did Nico because we have never lost anyone in our lives especially at that young age which caused us both to change drastically he turned to drugs and alcohol while I turned to alcohol and drugs but my most precious drug was Mathias knight. Her death caused me to make one of the biggest mistakes so far.

My dad was someone that never showed any sort o emotion or anything really towards his kids. He's a very complicated man but under all that thick ass skin he's someone incredible at least not around my mom. But when him Nico and I were alone hanging out he would be so much different he would be less cold and more attentive but when mom was around all that went to her and I get that his wife needed attention but seeing him change day after day felt exhausting to the point where we were tired of this two faced shit we stared ignoring him.

It might have been a cruel thing to do because months after he left. I thought it was my fault for some time mostly because I was the one to convince Nico to give him the cold shoulder too I'm surprised that after all the shit I made him do and say he's still by me and doesn't hate me like I do myself.

I don't hate myself to the extend where I don't like my characteristics but just who I am as a person i see myself as a selfish bitch who is spoiled or at least that's what I make myself think because everyone else tells me. They're have been magazines and webs about me being "súper fake" or "spoiled brat" just the usuals stuff a fifteen year old with issues doesn't want to hear, or anyone for that matter no one should be told to kill themselves because the body of the other person doesn't look like my body. Stupid shit really.