A Two Year Desire

Chapter Nineteen

I stood there for what felt like hours before I couldn't believe what I was seeing, I had to rub them once again to see if my own eyes weren't betraying me right now.

"Alec?" I yell back to the blonde coming my way, once he nods I take that as my opportunity to hug him tightly. I missed this idiot so much.

"Hey baby" he says as we both pull away from the very tight hug.

I shake out of my thoughts and remember I have Mathias with me but before I can say or do anything he clears his throat to signal he's there.

"Oh Alec this is Mathias Knight" I tell him. Alec makes a quick face to me before holding out his hand for Mathias to shake. "So this is him" he whispers next to me earning a slap on the head once Mathias isn't looking.

"Hey nice to meet you man so how do you and Lin know each other" Mathias asks as we sit down at a small table close by a very familiar cafe. "We actually met at this cafe" Alec answers signaling to the new designed building we were at.

"They redesigned it?!" I questioned getting a nod in return from Alec. "Yeah that summer you left the old lady, Dorothy? was going to sell the place but she chose not to and instead got money to redo it" He explained.

After having a good catch up with my lovely blonde friend he had to run for some 'important' business he had to attend to. Once we got into one of Mathias cars it all became silent you could drop a penny on accident and it would probably make more noise than the engine.

"So you were here last summer?" He thankfully breaks the silence not that it was awkward but I hate when it gets silent I always begin to think everyone is   judging me or talking shit about me. I basically overthink about myself for no absolute reason.

"No sophomore year" I replied with a small cough.

"Oh" he mumbles with a small cough too.

"Have you eaten today?" He asks randomly making my stomach feel like it's about to drop down to my feet.

"Uh yeah I have" I lied right straight through my teeth. Honestly I only had water like always but I'm doing fine. I don't need the food it will only make me feel more like shit and I already do. I hate when people ask if I've eaten and when I don't lie and say I haven't they think somethings wrong or I'm just doing it for attention so I just pretend I have it's gotten too normal that at this point it's kind of sad. My mom thought me that in an awkward conversation just to tell the person what they want to hear and sooner or later they'll leave you alone.

"No you haven't" he scoffs. "I have, in all honesty I have" I stammered a bit but it seemed believable at least to me. "I was with you all day and I haven't even seen you look at food so don't lie adelina"

"Leave me alone" I scoffed turning my sight back to my window. I use to love London it was my safe place and where I could get away just to well
live but that went to hell.

"Prove to me you have eaten just by coming with me you don't have to get anything just come with me" he says minutes later pulling into a old fancy restaurant.

Thankfully getting out of the car wasn't too much trouble and not a lot of paparazzi found us.

I just sat there in a small table across from the biggest idiot to ever exist he was looking over the menu and definitely knew I was looking at him very annoyed. A few times he would look up and give me a 'very subtle' eye roll which I definitely returned some times even with the middle finger until a pretty brunette waitress came up to us to either take our order or flirt with Mathias.

"Good afternoon my name is Carly and I will be your waitress today may I ask what would you have?" Her voice was very high pitched and annoying that I almost got a headache just listening to her.

"I will have the medium rare steak and water with ice" Mathias tells her but as he's handing the menu back he turns to me and gives me a small smile before saying something again.

"She will have your best pasta with an iced tea" he says causing my jaw to almost drop.

Does he know how many calories  pasta has? Or iced tea? I used to love it but I can't drink that or eat it I will get fat. Mom is going to kill me.

Does he want me to get fat?

I don't care for others body I care about mine, and how I look. It's not my problem if someone else looks one way and they love it because good for them but I don't like myself enough to have enough confidence to just eat whatever. Or at all.

Even if it kills me, that's a risk I'm willing to take.

"What is it now Lin?" He sighs Crossing his arms on his chest and leaning on the table slightly forward giving me an annoyed look. "Do you want me to get fat?" I snarled at him causing a grin to pop on his face.

"No I bet you can eat everything here and still have that amazing body I just haven't seen you eat in a while and I gotta make sure you're eating" he shrugs taking a sip of his water the waitress handed us just a minute ago.

"I am" I say very determined to make him believe my lies. "I haven't seen you though" he doubted. I kind of felt bad for lying to him as much as he deserved to not know they're was a part of me that made me want to tell him what's been going on.

But the other part is telling me that he won't care or it's not his business to know it's also not his fault so why would he even get to know? It's not like it's anything bad it's just food it's not like it's bad but I just can't bring myself to take a bite of anything without thinking of calories or how my mom would react if she saw my weight go any higher than a pound or anything lower. It's just food. It's just a small lie it's not like he genuinely cares out of a sudden so I believe I'm good from Mathias worrying, especially about me.

"You don't spend every second with me so you won't ever know if I do eat or not" I remakes causing him to give me an eye roll as he was about to say something the waitress who's name I forgot came up to us with our plates in hand.

"Well I am now so your gonna prove to me that you do and I don't have to worry about you anymore" he drawled this time making me roll my eyes at his lies this time. "It's not like you to worry about someone especially me so why now?" I taunted fixing the place of pasta in front of me. It looked good and very delicious I think I almost drooled just by looking at it.

I'm so hungry

Mom will kill you

But she doesn't have to know

You're gonna get fat and nobody will like you

They already don't like me because of my body so what's the problem now

The problem is that they have to get jealous of it people Have to hate you for it.

Why?

Mom said so..

"Lin? You gonna eat" he grinned. "I don't want it" I faltered, my breath started to feel heavy as time went on while my head felt like it was spun by multiple people. "I was right you don't eat" his grin doesn't leave his stupid face.

He thought this was all a joke, he thinks I'm a joke I bet he is so proud of being right it's been years since he has been so I would be too I get that he doesn't know about whatever I'm growing through but it annoys me how he doesn't have a single idea.

"I do eat I just don't want this it's too much calories and I can't eat it" another lie. "Who cares about calories your fine just eat" he scoffs.

"Mathias I'm leaving I know Alex and grace are on the store next to us so I'll just go there they texted me it was a fashion emergency" another lie, well half lie I did know they were next to us but they didn't text me.

"That's why you 'can't' eat? Because of fashion?" He questions ruffling his eyebrow together. "Yeah I wish I tasted the food but I gotta hurry" I stammered, I was shaking and had goosebumps on how worried I was getting that he was gonna catch me on a very fake lie.

"Take it to go then at least eat while you're there" He called the waitress to package the stuff to go for me quickly before I ran out those restaurant doors leaving him behind.

Once I was out of reach where I knew the you couldn't see in the window from his table I found the nearest trash can and debated throwing out the food but I couldn't bring myself to do it, I had to at least make one thing right today.