Kakashi held her small frame in his arms tight as she cried silently and shook in his grip. She was very stiff at first and he got the distinct impression she had held it all in this entire time, even from her closest friends. He could understand that and respect that. He had held it all in through the years himself. Suffering alone in silence, weeping when no one was around. Haunted by nightmares... terrors. Unable to function sometimes as the trauma was too great, oppressing the mind. Suicidal ideations as you tried to grapple with why you were still around and they were not. Feel apart from everyone because they just could not understand the depth of your horror and grief, no matter how much they tried.
Her arms slowly moved out from under the blanket and wrapped around his waist, holding him tightly as she finally relaxed and let it all out. He rubbed her back, imagining all the times he had wished someone had been able to do it for him. He had never been known as someone to give any kind of comfort to anyone. It was a long while he sat holding her before he felt her body relax completely against him. He pulled back a little and his brows shot up as he saw that she had fallen asleep, completely exhausted from the release of emotion. He carefully picked her up and walked back into her room, setting her down on the bed. She made small protesting sounds when he started to pull away from her.
"Now that isn't appropriate at all, Sarah," he whispered close to her ear. He tried to pull away again and she made the same sounds. He stared at her for a moment then laughed softly. "Okay, but you better not head butt me in the morning."
He did have to pull away from her for a minute to get his pack and equipment off as well as turn off the light and shut the door. She made the same sounds at the break in contact. She looked fragile laying on her side in the bed and a frown was on her face in her sleep. Dried tears on her face, her eyes slightly puffy. It pulled at his heart and after he was satisfied he would be comfortable, he lay down next to her and pulled her back into his arms. The smell of apples once more overwhelming his senses. He had always loved the smell of apples.
He looked down at her as she snuggled close to him and breathed in a deep sigh, a smile now playing on her face. Brat. If he wasn't sure she was asleep, he would think she was intentionally trying to seduce him. Their position was rather intimate, more intimate than he had ever done before and he couldn't help but be aroused by it. She smelled good, fit perfectly against him, and he found her attractive. He groaned inwardly, he would be lucky if he got any sleep. The fact that he had already decided he was going to seduce her made it even worse.
Yet as he looked at her smiling face and how comfortable she appeared after the awful recount of what had happened, he decided it was worth any discomfort he had at the moment. He pressed a kiss against her forehead and closed his eyes, trying to will himself to sleep.
Lightning flashed through the window followed by the crack of thunder. She wiggled closer and then threw a leg around his hips. Good Lord, she was going to torture him. She obviously was sleeping against him like she did her body pillow... which was also of him. He wanted to laugh almost. What a woman... he now understood what she meant earlier by not being interested in real men. She had eyes for just one "fictional man" and that person was him. What she saw in him, he didn't know. All he saw in the show was all the failures and mistakes he had made in life. Yet even when she was with him, she was still held in the grips of her trauma.
It was for that reason he had not pounced on her earlier when she had held his face. The moment when that switched flipped in his mind. As sleep tugged on his body, he wondered if her snuggling against him was a sign she would not take as long as he thought.
A crack of thunder rattled the window and jolted Sarah from her deep sleep. She did not even remember falling asleep. The rhythmic sounds of rain hitting the windows and rooftop. Low rumbling thunder. The smell of Sandalwood flooded her senses about the same time she realized she was being held by a very warm, very male body. She then remembered Kakashi holding her as she poured out her pain and grief the night before and felt her face flush with color. She must have fallen asleep while he was holding her. It had been such a comforting place being held by the person she had admired so long, the person she knew could understand the horror she had experienced. The person she could be weak with and lean on his strength.
Sarah felt her face get hotter when she realized she had thrown her leg over him like she did her body pillow every night. What must he have thought? Lord, she knew what he thought. He already had discerned her feelings for him. Why had he stayed though after carrying her to bed? Her eyes widened as she realized he was half naked. She stared at the patch of skin her cheek was laying on, the rhythmic beating of his heart under her ear. He was wearing a tank top so he wasn't completely shirtless. She could see when lightning flashed outside the scars on that small patch of skin.
She shifted her head a little and looked up at him. His eyes were closed and his breathing was coming in and out evenly. Still asleep. She carefully slipped her hand up from where it was resting on his waist to softly touch the deepest scar. She knew it was part of a bigger pattern that would be an "X" shape. He had gotten it in the war. She knew his body would be covered in scars. It had been almost a joke among Naruto fans that Kakashi had spent more time in the hospital than anywhere else. Now that she knew he was real, it made her flinch inwardly. He had suffered a great amount of pain as a Shinobi. The scar was jagged beneath her touch and she could just imagine how much pain he had been in when he received it. Yet he had kept fighting, despite that injury.
She closed her eyes again, absently stroking the scar. What a life he had lived in his world. She sighed heavily. She wondered if he was going to return back to his world suddenly just as he had arrived in her own. He had died in that world but in truth, he had not died. Sasuke had thrown him into this world. Would Sasuke eventually call him back? The thought made her want to cry. She didn't want him to go anywhere. She unconsciously moved closer to him and pressed her ear against his chest, listening to his heartbeat. It was a bit faster than it had been earlier. She vowed she was going to enjoy what time she had with him before he might ultimately be called back and out of her life.
Kakashi looked down at her head, watching her thumb that was lazily tracing the scar on his chest that was above the tank top. He had woken the moment she moved her hand but was curious as to how she would react to his presence. He was a bit surprised at how at ease she appeared to be in his embrace. He smiled in the darkness, feeling as if he was a giant step closer to getting past her triggers. Her breathing evened out once more and he knew the moment she went to sleep as her thumb stopped moving. He was enjoying the experience of just holding and being held, it was quite relaxing. He was beginning to understand how consuming relationships could become. If he was this content without sex.... what would it be like after sex?
YOU ARE READING
Battle Scars
Fanfiction**I'm back with another head story. Is it creepy that I imagine myself in all these scenarios? Hmm.. Maybe a bit unhinged? I can't help it, I'm crazy in love with Kakashi Hatake. If I could find a portal to get to him, my ass would be gone - re...
