Sandcastles

33

Nicki

"Where does this leave you and Beyoncé?" I shrug, I'm not sure. It's way past the deadline I gave her, and she's yet to have shown me she's taking this serious. Our kids are out here doing God knows what and she has me in the dark, I can stand this. "You should leave."

"Hell no, Ju and Nicki are endgame. They will work this out." The girls were all at my house helping me wrap my head around everything. I almost didn't let Lo and Solo inside my home, Rihanna talked me into hearing them out of course. I don't forgive them, I'm hurt by how none of these bitches came to me. All I want is someone to talk to or else I'm going to go crazy over this whole thing. "Beyoncé ain't shit for this, I'm sorry Solange but your sister fucked up. Then had the audacity to call Nicki out of her name."

"Cookie did slam her mother's face into the table. I'd be upset too, I mean wrong or not Tina is still HB's mom."

"Yeah no Nicki was right to do that. That's sad I'm even saying it because Tina is my mother, BUT, she deserve every ounce of what Nicki gave her."

"Solo that's your mother!"

"And? You saying it like I'm not a daddy's girl. My mother is toxic Lauren, if my daddy was here he'd be on Nicki's side as well." It's hard being mad at her when she's speaking nothing but facts. Mr. Knowles always showed me respect even though I came into his family rather quickly. He didn't judge me or painted me out to be some chick chasing after Beyoncé because of her money.

The money is nice and all but that's not what drew me in. I saw something special in Beyoncé, I loved her the second I saw her. Crazy and stupid as it may sound, it's the truth. I was crushing hard on her, I wanted nothing more than to simply be hers. What came after us getting together was nothing more than blessings. So I don't see what is Tina's problem with me.

I never spoke ill of her before the twelve years. My hopes were high in meeting her. I never had a mother figure in my life and desperately wanted one out of Tina. Even after my dreams were crushed I still showed her respect. Even all now I do. "Solo that's still your mother. I'm sorry for putting my hands on her, in that moment I was heated."

"Nicki the fact your apologizing right now blows the hell out of me. My mother does not deserve your sympathy, that's the problem, you let her walk all over you. Stand up for yourself babe, beat her ass time by time and if Juju has a problem with it I'll beat her ass for you. Those two will not bully you into submission, hell no I'll hurt one them."

"Speaking of bullying, let's address what we should do to HB. I saw we put ice hot in her boxers or something itching powder. We can even slash all of her car tires and bust out the windows. Maybe set one of them on fire."

"I pray Michelle doesn't ever disrespect you. She already can't fight, poor thing will end up dead somewhere in a ditch messing around with your crazy ass Robyn." I nod my head, Rihanna is crazy. People think I'm the crazy one because of the stigma that is short girls are, but really I'm not. That's all Robyn and Solange, they'll waste their energy doing some out of pocket things to you. Nah, I rather just put hands on you.

I'm not even a violent person, take me to a point where I feel disrespected however and I will turn violent. that's the way I feel now, I feel so disrespected I want to slap everyone. "Nic what's wrong, you went all silent."

"I'm just irritated at everything and everyone. I don't know if it's because I'm angry with y'all's actions or overwhelmed with everything. I'm just irritated."

"Well what's overwhelming you? We already know why you're pissed with us."

"It's nothing." I get up from my spot on the couch grabbing the empty bottle and glasses off the coffee table. I didn't mean to brush off Lauren's question, I just don't want them looking at me funny, especially her and Solange. "Cookie, what's bothering you.....outside of the current stuff."