The Killers Freedom

Chapter Fourteen: Heartless

I could feel him watching me like he always did when I dragged him out of bed to watch the sunrise. Or when I interrupted meetings or dinners because I needed to see the sunset. He wouldn't ever turn his head away, fixated on what I was doing. Tonight was no different than the fact that we were ten years older and at his home. I've always wanted to question him, why does he stare? But I never actually wanted to know the answer. I guess I just didn't care enough.

"You have a staring problem, you know that?" I turned to my side to see the look of shock painted all over his face. I couldn't help but laugh at his reaction to being caught, he didn't even try to look away or hide it, he simply laughed along with me.

Pulling my feet out of the water I laid back on the cold cement of the fountain and looked at the stars making their appearance for the night. I took in a few deep breaths and felt my mind starting to stir.

"I always knew I was never meant to have friends. I was raised to kill people not to be nice to them. That's why I live alone and my only interaction with the world is when I'm sent on assignments. It's just every time I get close to someone they hurt me, they betray me and cause me nothing but pain. Hell, the only people I can consider close are my driver, Leo, and his family. My own family sold me to pay off a debt, how was I supposed to know love or compassion after that? You know I've never dated right? I mean, honestly how could I, in my line of work? I'd have to admit to someone that my job and the reason I make tens of thousands of dollars a week is because I kill people for a living. I just couldn't mentally do it and it breaks me down sometimes to know I will never feel true love. Honestly though, I really loved her like a sister. I wouldn't have made it out alive if it wasn't for her. Why'd she keep it from me though? Why'd she help me all this time? Was it to feed him information that he couldn't get from me?" I was talking more to myself then Joseph.

I had never been one to question people's actions, nor their character but I kept feeling myself wanting answers. I wanted to know why.

He lifted his feet out of the water and rolled his pant legs back down, not speaking to me. He would occasionally glance over at me but the darkness hid his facial expressions. "Bugs," he finally spoke up, " I think you should talk to her, hear things from her side and not shut her out so quickly. She's got a lot of demons too and I think you both could use a friend right now." With that he got up and patted my leg a few times before walking towards the house, "you also have me," he said over his shoulder as he grabbed the handle to the door.

I wanted to go home. Back to my trucks, my small living room and my bed. I wanted things so badly to return to normal and forget about these people and their lives here. If I was never assigned to Jaxson then I would have never ended up here, confused and feeling even more lonely then I have ever felt. Which is saying a lot because I spend my time killing people for a living.

Finally deciding I need sleep I made my way back upstairs into the room I was tortured in for the last week to find Elaine sitting on the freshly made bed with a tray in front of her that held two mugs topped with whip cream and fruits in bowls beside them.

"Can we please talk?" I know she had been crying from the way her voice cracked as she spoke and her once pale skin was red from the tears.

I don't know what it was about her that I was so drawn to but I found myself walking to the bed and sitting next to her. Wanting to listen to whatever she had to say to me. I wanted to forgive her even after knowing her husband was the one who wanted me dead. I wanted her friendship and to talk like we did this last week. Whatever she had to say I wanted to hear it all.

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