The Killers Freedom

Chapter Twenty Three: Stop Speaking

Two days until I get to take his life with my own hands, the life of the man who stole my own and kept me from my parents.

After Joseph told me he loved me yesterday I got dressed and made my way to the dining room to have dinner with everyone. Needless to say, I had successfully avoided him for the rest of the night.

Elaine, however, knew something was going on when I asked her if I could stay the next few nights with her leading up to the assignment. She keeps questioning why I have been acting weird and I don't want to tell her what happened because it means I have to admit that I have feelings for him but I can't act on them because of my past.

Today was nothing different from yesterday, we trained harder and pushed ourselves more than our bodies wanted us to. I made the men burn with pain as I brought their bodies to the brink of exhaustion. We cannot let a single person of Stryker's slip through our fingers or they will never stop coming after us. Especially me, since I am going to be the one to kill him.

We were all dismissed from training when Elaine came in to let us know that dinner was at the table ready for everyone so all of the men grabbed their things, thanked me for a good day and exited the gym we were in.

"Are you going to talk to me finally?" she said as she handed me a towel. My muscles weren't done today and I knew I needed to keep going for a little while longer so I walked over to the treadmill and pulled a seat next to it for her to sit down.

"Come," I pointed to the seat and she gave me a quizzical look, her eyes always relaying exactly what she was feeling. She knew I was going to tell her so she was patiently waiting, staring at me running like there was something chasing me. And to me there was, I was running from my feelings, the thought that someone could care about me as something more than a killer. I was running from my past and yet I was running at it head first in a few days. I was running from the thought that I had found the one person who could hold my heart in his hands and bring me to my knees and I let him. So I kept running, letting my body burn and my lungs light on fire.

Finally feeling as though I was ready to talk I stopped the machine and turned to look at her, "he told me he thinks he loves me," was all I had to say to make her jaw drop to the floor and her eyes pop out of her head, "he said it yesterday after the training session, we went up to his room and showered. We had the best sex in the world, he touched me and treated me in ways I have never felt before. Elaine, he told me he thinks he loves me and I ran away from him. I have been avoiding him since then and I didn't even say anything back. I can't be the person he wants nor could I give him anything other than sex. He doesn't deserve that, he should be able to have more, to have someone who loves him in return."

She didn't speak for a while, just sat there and stared at me with her jaw hanging low at the words I just spoke. Her silence was starting to worry me, making me question if I should have just not said anything at all.

"He finally said it," she stood up and walked over to where I had moved to, now wiping my face with a towel and drinking out of a water bottle. "I knew he had felt this way since the day you arrived here, Bugs, but I wondered if he would ever actually admit to it. I have never seen him look at anyone the way he looks at you and the night of the club I tested that theory out seeing if he would come get you if he got jealous and he did. Everything makes so much sense now."

She was now hugging me from the side and pinching her nose in disgust at the smell of my sweat. "Elaine now is not the time to go soft on me, I don't need to hear about all of this, as my best friend you need to tell me how to get myself out of this situation. I have skeletons that I don't want to unbury and with him I would have to. Right now I am nowhere near ready to go down this path," her eyes shifted behind me and went wide as she nodded her head silently telling me to stop speaking.

I followed her gaze and turned around and my stomach leaped straight to my throat, it was none other than Joseph walking straight towards us.

"Elaine, Betty," he nodded his head at us, "you two didn't make it to dinner and we are discussing more of the plan, I thought that training was done for the day?" he raised an eyebrow in my direction, the question was for me as he was looking at my soaking wet clothing from the run I just took.

"Sorry sir, Elaine had a few personal things she needed to discuss with me and what better time to talk than over a run!"

He watched my actions as she spoke, he was trying to read what we were talking about. I raised my eyebrows acting as if I was bored of this conversation so I grabbed the few things I had, grabbed Elaine's hand and expressed that we should really be making our way to dinner if we are needed.

Joseph followed us to the dining room where everyone was seated and I could hear a few different conversations talking about exactly what they will do at their drop off location. I watched them all and listened to each conversation as I took my seat and began eating. Knowing what each and every person in this room was thinking about that day made my mind immediately switch back into strategy mode.

I felt him though, watching me from where he sat across the table. He had his head tilted to the side, not even hiding the fact that he was staring straight into my soul. It was as if he was trying to pry into my thoughts and figure out what I was thinking. I gave him a small smile and continued listening in on everyone's conversations as I ate giving my advice every now and then to a few groups of people.

Once everyone was done with dinner they all dismissed themselves to head home for the night. I sat with a stack of papers in front of me writing down every detail I could remember about the hell that I lived in. Absolutely any information I could give to these men would be beneficial in taking Stryker down.

I was exhausted and could feel myself falling asleep as I was sitting there. I had told the chef to go home for the day seeing as I was the only one at the table and there was no need for her to stay and make anything more.

"Two more days, Stryker, two more days and you will be begging for your life like I did all those years ago," I said to the air around me as I continued to draw the houses surrounding his estate. My eyelids were heavy and I couldn't take it anymore. I leaned my head down on the table in front of me and let myself drift off to sleep.

Joseph's POV:

I watched her from the doorway struggling to stay awake. She spoke to the air as if someone was there listening to her. Her mind raced with thoughts and memories she wouldn't ever share with anyone.

She's been avoiding me since our moment in the bathroom and I'm not exactly surprised by it. What compelled me to tell her I loved her in that moment is beyond me but it felt right. She has been the only person that has broken down my walls and let me feel something other than anger. I had loved her from the day I saw her when Stryker took me in, the day our eyes first met I knew I wanted every inch of her to be mine.

What she doesn't know is that this assignment isn't as big as I've let on, but I need her to get her revenge in order to break down her walls and love me in return.

So I stood there, watching her fall asleep on the table, stirring from a nightmare that seemed to take over her dreams. Her paperwork sprawled in front of and a third cup of coffee nearly empty sat next to her hand.

Beautiful wouldn't even begin to describe this woman, she was a work of art, a masterpiece sent to me by the Gods. I would do anything to make her happy, give her the life and family she deserves. Show her not all men are evil and only want her to use her.

Spi spokoyno, moya lyubov'

(Sleep well, my love)

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Any thoughts on the Bugs and Joseph situation?

-H