The Killers Freedom

Chapter Twenty Eight: I Was Meant to be Alone

It didn't take long before I found myself standing at the front door to the warehouse I used to live in. I needed to see it one last time before I burn this down too, I was going to take everything from him even in his death.

I pressed my hand against the cold metal that had once protected me from the outside world, remembering every moment that I spent here throughout my life. I let my mind take over as I closed my eyes and breathed in slowly letting myself finally calm down from the high I was on.

As I opened the door I looked behind me to find Joseph standing by the door of the black vehicle we had been assigned. His face was covered in worry, pain and empathy for the woman standing in front of him and I hated it.

"Do you mind giving me five minutes? I need to say goodbye," he nodded his head and told me he will stay right there until I am ready to leave. With a small smile of acknowledgement I closed the door behind me and breathed in a deep breath.

Emptiness.

It surrounded me yet suffocated me at the same time. A place I once called home, my safe haven away from the death I created was empty and barren. This wasn't home anymore, just a four walled metal box that held nightmares inside.

As if my body was on autopilot I made my way up the stairs running my hand along the cold metal railing recalling that just months ago I walked up these stairs for the last time because I was taken, kidnapped and tortured at the hands of Roman. My body shuddered at the memories that started taking over.

Once upstairs, I laid down on the ground letting the world consume me for a moment.

I laid there not wanting to go back to Russia and continue the fake reality I was telling myself could be home. Pretending that a life there was what I wanted.

Joseph has been trying so hard to love me. He wants a life filled with happiness with me and I know deep down I will never be that person for him. I cannot give him kids, I cannot give him happiness, my past will always come back to haunt me and he doesn't realize that. I let myself slip too hard for him and I know I will have to break his heart when I leave here.

I was meant to be alone.

But I don't want to stay here, each blade of grass etched with sin, every new breeze carried a harsh reality of the person I used to be, the killer that was born inside of me when I was ripped from the hands of my mother. I didn't belong anywhere anymore, I felt forigen in my own body.

That's when I noticed it, a little white letter taped to the wall of what used to be my living room. The word "Betty" scribbled on the front in horrible handwriting. My heart froze and I slowly sat up not breaking eye contact with the paper that stood out like a sore thumb.

I could count on one hand the number of people who know my real name and would actually use it to address me.

Making my way to the envelope I strained my ears listening for anything that may be out of the ordinary. A person lurking in the shadows, a trap set up somewhere but I was met with silence, deafening silence.

"Betty,

Your mother is alive and well, he lied to you as he has been your entire life and if you found this letter that means you believed the lies. But that also means you have finally killed him and for that I am grateful.

Climb your way to the top and I will meet you there with open arms, answers and your dearest Mother.

Do not try to find me and do not try to look for her, or they will all die one by one because of you.

Make a name for yourself and figure out who you really are.

Forbes is waiting.

And so am I."

Behind the letter were dozens of pictures of Joseph, Elaine, Rose and Ann. Each picture had me interacting with them in some sort of way, the club, outside his house in the backyard, one was even of Joseph and I driving in this exact vehicle on our way here this morning.

My blood ran cold, ice took over every vein and my heartbeat slowed. I had to lean against the wall to support myself or the blackness would take over my vision. Whoever this was has been watching me, stalking me and everyone around me since I arrived in Russia.

I slid down to my knees and read over and over that my mother was alive, she is out in this world somewhere waiting for me to come save her from whatever hell this person might be putting her through. But, how do I even know this person is telling the truth? Why would they want me to make a name for myself?

My mind raced as I sat there thinking of everything I have gone through up to this point in my life.

I was taken away as payment for my fathers debt when I was younger and forced to become a trained killer. I was beaten, abused, tortured and had unwanted surgeries performed on me at the hands of monsters. I killed many, many people and never felt any remorse for it. I had sex, a lot of sex with men whom I knew I was going to kill and with random men I found when I was able to sneak away. I was told I could never amount to nothing but the life that was made for me by Stryker.

But I also found a friend, a best friend in a beautiful woman named Elaine. A man fell in love with me and openly admitted it. I started to make a life for myself in a different country away from all of this madness that surrounded my everyday life.

Warm tears flowed freely down my face and I couldn't help but laugh to myself. There could be a possibility that my mother is out there and all it takes is for me to do better. What a sick joke this world is playing on me.

Wiping off my tears I stood up and made my way down the stairs to the front door and turned around to get one last look at this place.

"Thank you for being my home, for trying to protect me all these years. Thank you for listening to me cry and scream and go crazy after every assignment. Today, you will finally be laid to rest, sleep easy my dear home, I am going to go find my mother."

With that, I struck a match and threw it at the gasoline can that was sitting in the corner.

"I'm coming Mom."

******************

Who wants another book?

I am currently in the process of writing a sequel of her adventure to finding her mom and herself.

Would you all read it if I posted it here?

-H