i love you for infinity

/|/\|~ s.h warning

when i got home i showered, and got into short booty shorts and an oversized t shirt. i had been calling hawk for about an hour and i finally hung up. 
when i laid down and checked my messages. i hadn't gotten any notifs since u put my phone on silent.

unknown number: send them. now. *my address*

the fact that the person sent my address scared the shit out of me. so i felt like i had too.

i got up and looked in the mirror. i pulled my shorts up so you could see my butt just a little. i grabbed my phone and took a picture of myself. and sent it.

|>delivered

unknown number: typing...

unknown number: take your shirt off.

seeing this text made me feel so weird. i don't even know how to describe it. it wasn't good tho. i was scared. i was sad. i was nervous. i felt forced. they knew my address so what would happen if i didn't send it?

i started crying and shaking so much, but i took my shirt off and took a picture, there was cuts all over my chest, but i didn't give a shit. i sent the picture and started having a breakdown. 

i was shaking so much i could barely breathe. i tried taking deep breaths, i heard the *ding* on my phone and checked it.

*unknown number: 1 unread message*

i opened the message

unknown number: take your bra off. and we're good. 

me: tell me who the fuck you are first. or are you too much of a pussy?

unknown number: i'll tell you who i am

they a long ass time to write the next part, but when they did it said;

unknown number: know you take your bra off.

shit.

i went into the mirror and took my bra off. i was shaking so much i dropped my phone.

i took a deep breathe and sent the picture.

me: there. no more. tell me who the fuck you are.

i changed into a sports bra and pj pants.

i looked at my phone and they hadn't answered. when i looked at the texts i saw the picture u sent and it made me feel so bad.

i leaned against the wall and slid down crying with my head buried in my arms.

i heard footsteps coming to my room and got scared. i got up quickly and rinsed my face trying to make it look like i wasn't crying.

i heard a knock on my door "who is it??" i yelled from the bathroom

"your sensei" i heard my dad say

"um come i'm later dad, i'm showering" i yelled back

"alright we'll im going out" my dad said as i heard him walking away.

i checked my phone and there were still no messages.

i started to get really anxious so i went downstairs and grabbed a knife. i started impulsively slitting my wrists crying not thinking about anything.

i just fell asleep that night on the kitchen floor with a knife in my hand.

i woke up and went upstairs it was 7am.

"fuck" i whispered "i'm gonna be late" i said to myself.

i got out a hoodie and sweatpants and put them on. i drove to school.

when i got there i walked right in trying to avoid contact with anyone.

my eyes had been real swollen from crying. i had my hoodie on over my hair that was out. i was hoping that would cover my face. my first period was chemistry with demetri, hawk, and miguel.

my usual seat is next to miguel and demetri or next to hawk, but today i say in the very back. alone.

when i was walking out, someone grabbed my wrist. i turned and saw it was hawk. "everything okay babe?" hawk asked me "i'm fine i said sniffling my nose walking away.

hawk followed me and caught up to me "why didn't you sit next to me in chem?' he asked "i don't know." i responded. hawk kept asking me questions, but i wasn't listening. i finally cut him off from whatever he was saying and said "just leave me alone please." "um okay" he said walking away.

i checked my phone again. still no messages.

im trying to not think about it but i can't.

lunch
at lunch i was trying so hard to forget about everything so i was being very seductive to hawk.

i sat on hawks lap and started grinding on him really subtle so no one could see. "stop. not now" he whispered in my ear as he was talking to assface. i didn't stop. i started kissing his neck quietly moaning in his ear.

i reached my hand down to his crotch and starching rubbing it. he grabbed my hand. "let's go." he demanded "i have to go to the bathroom" i teased

i walked away from the table and went to the hall. when i was walking in the hall i checked my phone to see if there were any new texts. none.

i felt someone grab my wrist really really tight which made me whimper because of the cuts. i turned and saw it was hawk. i quickly out my phone away.

he pinned me against the wall "don't fucking tease me y/n" he said as he was holding onto my wrists really fucking hard. before i could say anything he pushed me into the janitors office and pinned me against the wall once again.

while i was up against the wall he started kissing me, he tried kissing my neck but the hood was in the way. "move it" he ordered. i moved the hood but i guess that wasn't good enough for him cause he said "take the whole fucking thing off"

"mhm" i moaned as i started taking the hoodie off.

as i took it off i don't think he noticed my wrists. good.

he started kissing my neck leaving hickies in my neck.

okay. so i know i said i was going to write a lot of chapters today- i wrote 3 i think, but i have no motivation to finish this one, but i promised i would post another one today so i'm posting this and i'll finish it another day <3 sorry luv u all <333