GONE (COMPLETED)

CH. 01

JESSICA's POV

She fell inlove with me even though I'm acting like a kid sometimes. I'm 18 years old and she's 21 years old, we don't have in common but I really admire her, I idolize her and especially, I love her so much. I feel so complete whenever I'm with her, spending time with her is my favorite time, I also prefer holding her soft hands rather than holding my phone. I'm so whipped when it comes to her and I don't know what will happened to me once she will leave me. When the time she will get tired of me or when her feelings towards me will be gone. We started dating when I was 16, we met accidentally at the park and then I always find myself at the park hoping to see her again. She's so beautiful, charming and matured, and I fell for her because of her smile. She's Thea Gail Ruiz, my sweetheart. I heard her big sigh which made me bring back to my senses.

I keep on biting my lower lip while looking down at my feet. Okay, I feel so embarrased for acting immature infront of my girlfriend. I know that she's a graduating student and she's very busy doing her all projects, thesis and other requirements. I should understand her and act like on my own age but here I am, acting like someone stole my favorite candy.

"Look Jes, I'm so stressed right now and I don't want to argue with you anymore." — she defeated then let out a big sigh again. I tried to hold my tears since I just realized how immature I am. She's been patient with my immaturity. I heard her groan which make me look at her face. She looks frustrated as her palm was on her face.

"I'm sorry." — I weakly said, and I'm silently thanking God for not letting my tone crack.

"You're always sorry." — she said when she look at me. She looks at me like she's so disappointed the way I behave. And I'm so fucking aware of that, that's why I said sorry. I'm disappointed as well at myself for acting like this. Not thinking when I feel hurt and letting my mouth to said things that shouldn't be voice out. How pathetic I am for being like this. "And now, you're crying." — she stated like she's so done with me. I tried to stop my tears but those freaking tears keeps on flowing. I know that I'm so sensitive and emotional that's why I can't control myself for crying like a baby.

She step forward and reach my cheeks. She wipes my tears gently using her thumb but she looks so exhausted. Pagod na ba sya? Ayaw na ba nya sa akin? Pasan na ba ako sa kanya? Am I not good for her anymore? Thinking those question makes my heart squeezed in pain. It so fucking hurt that it affects me for breathing hardly. I just close my eyes and tried myself to be calm.

"Tahan na." — she gently said as she pull me towards her to embrace me. "Stop crying baby." — she whispered while placing a soft kiss on my head.

"I'm sorry sweetheart for being a burden." — I said between my sobs. I heard her chuckled then break our hugs so she can scan my ugly face. I pouted which makes her giggle and pinched my cheeks. And now, she set aside my immaturity and don't want to argue with me anymore, I'm so lucky.

"You're not a burdened to me, don't ever think like that." — she firmly said, how I love it when she looks at me like this. She looks at me with so much love, care and adoration. I bite my lower lip to hold my smile and I suddenly felt the hotness on my face. Gosh, I just can't hold my blushed when it comes to her.

"I'll be good, I promise." — I said using my baby voice. Her smile became wide while shaking her head.

"Why you're so cute baby?" — she suddenly asked me which make me feel more embarrassed. Gusto nya talaga sigurong mas pumula pa ang mga pisngi ko.

"I love you." — I muttered sincerely. She gently place her palm on my chin.

"I know baby, and I love you too..." — she respond before she place a soft kissed on my forehead. "...so much." — she added when she pull away. I can feel how fast my heartbeats, it's so overwhelming that makes me want to cry again. "Oww, what a cry baby. Come here, I'll hug you until you stop crying." — she gently said while opening her arms. I hugged her instantly and cried on her chest. I so love this girl, I thought she will get tired of me but here she is hugging me so tight, telling me how much she loves me. Thea became my world and I don't know if this is a good thing or not.

"You're the best girlfriend Thea, I don't know what to do without you." — I told her. She softly rubbing my hair while hugging me, her embrace that makes me feel better and safe. How I wish the time will stop and let us stay like this forever but I know that won't happened. I heard her chuckled then place another kiss on the top of my head.

"Baby you need to learned things. I'm always here for you but I want you to learned how to stand up by yourself." — she lectured me which makes me pout. I know that but I love it when she control me and told me what will I do— it's just I so love when she interfere with everything I do in life, that's makes me think that she really loves me and she care for me. I know I'm being dumb for thinking like this but— I don't know, am I sick?

"I know that sweetheart, but I like it when I heard your opinions and tell me what is the best for me." — I respond. She break our hug and let out a sigh. She gave me a small smile before she grab my hand and drag me towards their kitchen.

"We have your favorite Ice cream here, I bought this last night because I'm missing you." — she said, and I know that she don't want to argue with me anymore. She always the one who will dropped the subject if she knows that I won't let her win. I felt a little guilty for behaving like that but I don't want to said sorry again 'cause I know how she hate to hear that always from me.

We have talked things about her projects and thesis. I tried to offer my help but she refused to accept it and just told me that she can handle everything. And what she needs from me is for understanding her situation. I just nodded my head and told her that I will be matured enough for her. She thank me afterwards and accompany me to go home. While we're walking, a lot of thoughts were running on my head, a lot of what ifs.

"Don't get tired of me." — I weakly said when we reach our house. She stopped walking and face me, her furrowed eyebrows was shown, confused was also written in her face. Okay I said things that it should not be said, what a bad mouth I have.

"What— why you suddenly said that?" — naguguluhan na usal nito. I mentally scold myself 'cause I might hurt her for overthinking again.

"Ah— nothing. I'm just— I don't know, I just blurted what's on my mind. I'm sorry." — I said then she looks serious when she heard my last words, Oh God I just said I was sorry again.

"Stop being paranoid Jes." — she said. She place a soft kissed on my forehead before she said her goodbyes. She left without waiting for me to go inside our house. I made her disappointed again, I know that because whenever she dropped me off, she will wait for me to go inside first before she finally leave.

"Jessica what are you doing?" — I scold myself while walking weakly towards our door.