GONE (COMPLETED)

CH. 16

Confusion hit me hard as she close the door. She let me seat on the edge of the bed. The theme of the room was so girly and it caught my attention with the picture frame on the side table of the bed. It was the guy that I saw earlier and my Thea, it was a foreign country which makes me look at her.

"Baby." - she started as she stop walking back and forth infront of me. I refrain myself to be silent since I wanted her to tell me everything because shits starting to swallowed me hard. I'm so confused and it makes me feel so unwell. She look at me sadly, she reached for my hand and squeezed it. She's not yet telling me what's happening but my tears are already streaming in my cheeks. Why do I feel like she's going to break me when she's gonna tell me everything? I just wanted her arms wrapped around me, I just want to be with her, is that hard to do it? Is it hard for her to be with me? Why she's with someone else? Why do I feel like she's not my Thea anymore?

"Can you just enlighten me, please? I feel so lost right now." - I said to her pleading. She swallowed before she sat beside me.

"I want you to be strong, okay?" - she told me nervous. I hesitated to nodded my head because I can't promise her that I will be strong once she blow my mind. "I'm not the right person to tell you this." - she added as her tears start to fall. I cry silently as I hold her hand tightly.

"Sweetheart I'm scared." - I said shakily. She embrace me in her arms. I know she's having a hard time as well but I just want to be in her arms.

"You will be alright." - she said.

I don't know how long I stayed embracing her. A few moments later, she guided me to the edge of her bed and let me take a seat.

"You feel better?" - she asked me. I nodded my head while looking down. I just can't find myself to look her eyes.

"I feel so lost." — I admitted as my tears start to fall.

"I'm sorry." — she said between her sob. "I'm not sure if this is the right time to tell you." — she added. But right now it feels like I have an idea already.

Thea was about to tell me something when we heard someone knocking her door. She wipe her tears and my tears as well before she open the door. Athena was there standing while looking at me directly. Athena and I are not really close that's why I feel so shy around her. She whispered something to Thea before she take a glance at me with a tight smile on her face.

"Come with me." — Athena said plainly. I'm not sure if I'm the one she's referring so I didn't move at all. She rolled her eyes before she step towards me and grab my hand. "I told you to come with me." — she sternly said as she pull me to stand up and dragged me outside. I look at Thea who just nodded her head.

"You're sick. What the hell are you doing here Jessica?" — she asked me. I don't know why she looks so angry at me right now.

"A— I j-just miss my Thea and— i-it's been so long since I went here. I-I mean visiting your parents." — I rambled. I heard her big sigh before she rested her both hands on my shoulders.

"Look. Ate is not happy seeing you going outside when you're not yet fully healed." — she said. Di ko talaga mapigilan ang pagtulo ng mga luha ko pero napigilan ko naman ang humikbi.

"Athena please tell me she's my Thea." — I pleaded her. Malungkot ako nitong tinitigan habang nanlalaki ang mga mata nya.

"I'm sorry Jessica." — she whispered as her tears are threatening to fall. Wala pa silang pinapaliwanag sa akin pero pakiramdam ko unti-unti ko ng nalalaman ang lahat.

Few days Later...

"Anak I'm sorry." — my mom said. I sniffed and embrace her.

"No don't say that mom. I'm sorry for being sick."

"I was scared when you wake up then you're talking to no one as if Thea was there."

"B-but I saw Thea mom. She's there...for me" — I barely whispered the last words. My mom break the hug and cupped my face.

"Let's say she was there to make you calm. She really loves you honey." — my mom said. Di ko naman napigilan ang mapahagulgol.

"Kasalanan ko ang lahat mom." — I told her. Napailing naman sya while saying "No anak, it's no one fault. Thea will not be happy if she hears you right now."

"Mom..."

"That's the reason why I went to Thea's mom, I asked for their help because I'm so worried about you. You're hallucinating that you're talking to Thea. I got scared, akala ko mawawala ka sa akin, ikaw na lang kasama ko sa buhay anak at diko yata kakauanin kapag ikaw ay mawala din. Then I saw Thea's cousin, Antonneth, I thought she can help you to heal but... I'm sorry anak, di ko naisip na mas lalala lang ang sitwasyon. Kinakausap mo pa din si Thea sa kawalan, nadamay ko pa ang pinsan ni Thea. I feel so sorry, I'm the worst mom."

"Mom don't say that. You just did that because you're just worried about me. I do understand mom, please don't blame yourself when all you wanted is for me to be okay. I love you mom and I'm sorry for all the hardships."

Mom hug me and keep on saying I love you and I'm sorry.

"I do remember now mom. Kung hindi lang ako nagpadala sa selos ko at nagtungo sa dagat. Nandito pa sana si Tgea sa tabi ko. She save me mom, she save me and now I lost her. She's gone mom. My Thea is gone." — I said with agony and full of regret.

"Anak please... walang may gusto ang nangyari. Thea's family never put the blame on you. It was an accident anak." — my mom said trying to convince and comfort me. But it seems like my mind was closed. All I hear in my mind was I deserved to be gone as well, I deserved all the pain that I'm feeling right now. I deserved to be in misery because of my unhealthy love towards Thea. My sweetheart was a wonderful person, ako dapat ang namatay. Ako dapat... hindi sya. Because of me, she's gone and I will never have the chance to hug her, kiss her and feel her warmth.