GONE (COMPLETED)

CH. 02

I waited for her to contact me because we're not in good terms when we part ways. I keep on reminding myself that she's busy right now because of her thesis and projects that needed to be done. But, I can't stop myself from thinking that she's with someone else and she prefer to be with them than me. I think I'm going insane for behaving like this because this is not healthy anymore. My mom notice me once she caught me pacing back and forth. She talked to me and told me that I should not overthink too much because it might cause of problems. I'm glad my mom is here with me, she calm me when I almost send a-not-so-good message to Thea. I just realized how immature I am, I promised her that I will be good but here I am, being paranoid. It's already been 2 days but she's not really contacted me, I missed her already.

"Jessi, anak, walang masama ang magmahal pero wag naman sobra. Magtira ka sa sarili mo, look at yourself, napapabayaan mo na dahil sa pagiging paranoid mo. Thea is a good girl pero hindi pwedeng maging mundo mo sya. Just love her but make sure the love you will show to her will not be the reason why she need to break up with you." — mom told me while rubbing the back of my hand. I just let my tears to fall because I know how unhealthy my love for her. I don't want to be obsessed with her but I can't control myself when it comes to her. I'm just scared to lose her. She's the only person who show me what Love is. She makes me feel so special, she adore me and she understand me. I love Thea and I'm willing to sacrifice my life just for her. Oh my, I think I'm going insane for being like this, I'm not really this kind of person when I didn't met her. What happened to me?

"Mom, I love her and I feel so scared that someone will get her away from me." — I said between my sobs. I can see in her eyes that she's so worried about me. She gently wipe my tears and kissed my forehead.

"Anak this is not you." — my mom said, she looks so hurt and I want to hurt myself for being the reason why my mom feels like that.

"Are you disappointed to me mom?" — I weakly asked her as my tears keep on flowing. She shake her head as she sniffed before she smiled at me weakly.

"I will never be disappointed at you anak, pero I want my daughter back." — she told me, I smiled at her and hugged her.

"Okay mom, I also don't want this side of me and you know that I love you, right?" — I told her sweetly, she nodded her head as she smiled at genuinely.

"I love you too anak, always and forever." — she respond that makes me feel better. I pull away to her embrace and kissed her on the cheeks, I excused myself to do my homework afterwards.

I was contemplating with myself either I'm going to contact Thea first or wait for her to contact me. I really missed her so much, I really got hurt when she didn't respond on my messages the day after she dropped me home. I don't want to feel that again, I really hate when someone will ignore my message especially if this girl named Thea Gail Ruiz. I fished out my phone on my pocket then searched for her name on my phonebook. I was staring at it for a few moments and I was about to dial her number when her name flashed on my screen. I got startled but eventually I get a hold on myself and wait for a few rings before I finally answered her call.

"Hello baby, how are you?" — she asked me, I cam sense that she's exhausted just by hearing her voice. I was about to rant at her but I got softened after hearing her voice. I'm really whipped at her and I hate it.

"You sound so tired sweetheart." — I stated. I heard her soft giggle which make me smile. Her giggle really make me forget my sulking at her.

"Baby I just finished my Thesis but I really need to review this with my team. We need to defend this by next week. I can't wait to finished this Thesis and be free after this long stressful months." — she respond, I nodded my head and I also can't wait to spend more time with her after that.

"Glad to hear that Thea sweetheart, hope I could spend more time with you after that." — I said and I can't help to used my baby voice on my last sentence. She just chuckled then told me that spending time together can wait and she wants me to focus on my studies first. Hindi nya ba ako namimiss? Why do I feel like she doesn't want to spend her time with me? God, I'm being paranoid again, help me.

"Maybe you don't want to be with me anymore." — I told her sadly, she became silent on the other line and I can't help to overthink that I annoyed her by thinking like this. I bite my lip to hold my tears, my God, it feels like someone is squeezing my heart in pain again.

"Anyways, ahm— How's your studies?" — she asked me instead and pretending that she didn't hear my last statement. I just let out a sigh and look at my ceiling. I feel so proud of myself because I eventually hold my sob.

"It's good, ah— sweetheart, you didn't responded to my messages the other day." — I open up since I really want to hear her reasons and just to make me stop from overthinking. I was a little bit nervous by opening this topic.

"Baby sorry for not responding for your messages, I just don't want to be distracted and want to focus to finished our thesis." — she respond, I felt a little pang when she said the word distracted, maybe I'm one of distraction in her life. Sobrang negative talaga ang dating sa akin nun at diko maiwasan ang mapaisip.

"Sweetheart just tell me if I'm suffocating you so I will know what to do." — I told her after I recall my talked with my mom a while a go.

"Ah— okay if that's what you want." — medyo nalilitong usal nito sa akin.

"We're okay, right?" — I asked her nervously.

"Yes, we're okay baby, kaya wag ka na mag-isip ng kung ano ano jan." — she respond, nakahinga naman ako ng maluwag after hearing her respond.

After our talked she told me that she needed to hang up now so she can take a rest because she need to wake up early tomorrow. Eventhough I don't want to hang up the call, I told her that I understand.

"Good night sweetheart, I really missed you." — I said like a baby. I heard her giggle.

"My cute baby, I miss you too, I can't wait to hug you. I'll see you on Saturday alright?" — hearing her respond really make me tear up. "And baby, no crying like a baby tonight, okay?" — she gently remind me and I just nodded my head with smile on face.

"I love you sweetheart." — emosyonal na usal ko. I heard her sigh and I can feel that she really missed me so much.

"And I love you baby. I'll make it up to you." — she said to me which make my mood light.

"Promise?" — nakapout na usal ko, I'm behaving like a kid again. I can't help it, really.

"Promise." — she respond.

I was satisfied with our conversation and I the burden that I'm feeling was already gone. We're okay, and I'm so happy. My sweetheart loves me as I love her.

Thea Gail Ruiz, I'll be better sweetheart for you.