Arabella, 20 years old, applies for a job in New York as an assistant costume designer on the set of upcoming movie 'Twisted Impurity' staring none other than Harry Styles. Initially, she's thrilled but realises it isn't all the dream she imagined...
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"If you don't get off that bed, I will drag you off!" threatens Eden.
Eden has been my best friend since we were little from our first conversation about having the same eye colour. We're basically non-biological sisters, as cringy as that sounds. She can still be a pain in the ass sometimes though.
"But I don't want to..." I groan in exhaustion.
It had been 3 weeks since 'the break-up'. It was only after I realised how unhealthy it was. If we're being honest, I've never really been happy for a long time. Whether that was in the relationship or life in general. Sometimes it just feels like the whole world is against you. Yes, sometimes I crack a smile or laugh at a joke. But ultimately, I still feel the metaphorical darkness tearing my mind apart when I'm alone and left to my thoughts. Do I tell people this? No. But everyone's a bit sad sometimes, right? I'm not looking for their sympathy.
I concluded eventually that the relationship ended for the best and it was just something familiar I could rely on. Losing so many people in my life just made me cling to someone who I didn't have true feelings for. I probably wasn't a good girlfriend anyway. He would always remind me of that when I'd be 'too sad' or lost in my head.
His name was Tanner. Should have known.
I remember one time, I was in his bedroom on my 20th birthday, the first one without my grandma, and I started crying. He told me to get over it, he was probably right but I don't think I ever could. And as much as I tried to be there for him, it was never enough.
It's not like he didn't take it well. He told me I was making a mistake but I think sometimes you need to make mistakes to learn how to succeed. He was always there for me and was a shoulder I could lean on, but never really there for me emotionally. Eden was the only one who helped me. I had been through some of the hardest times with both of them by my side. That's why it was so hard to let him go but it was the right choice.
The worst thing is, I didn't just lose a boyfriend that day but a friend. And that was even more painful.
I realise now though, I had lost that friend a long time ago.
"Arabella, it's midday. I'm not leaving till you get up." She breaks my thoughts.
"Can we please pull a Freaky Friday so I can have your energy?" I joke to try and lighten my dull mood.
"You're so dramatic... but come on, Bell, even your bed has had enough of your misery," She always finds a way to make me smile, "I can stay with you if you want? I brought gummy bears, your favourite." She offers.
"Don't you have that audition to go to?" I replied but my eyes were locked on the sweets.
I was spread out like a starfish with my dark brown hair fanned out across my grey sheets. My head sat up looking at her. Her face dropped as if she had died right on the spot. My brows automatically furrow as her eyes bug out and she goes pale.
"Shit."
I start giggling, making an ugly wheeze at the end because I could tell just by her reaction that she forgot about it.
"Fuck. Shit. Mother Fucker!" Eden curses as she runs around my room, making sure she grabs everything and shoves it in her bag, "You could have reminded me Bell!"
I automatically stop laughing and widen my eyes at her words.
"I-" I felt lost for words, I just reminded her.
"Right anyway, get out of bed," She stares into my soul with her almond eyes, "And call me later... " She says, preparing her exit.
"Eden." I quickly say before it's too late.
"Yeh?"
"Good luck with the audition."
"Thanks. Good luck to you getting up!" She laughs going to walk out again.
"Eden."
"What? Arabella, I'm late!" She hates being late.
"The gummy bears..." I stick out my pet lip and flutter my lashes, earning a chuckle from her.
"What are you like?" Stating as she throws me the bag of sweets she reached for in her bag.
Not even seconds later, she runs out my door, her red hair rushing with her, and I hear her race down my stairs.
"Thank you!" I shout to make sure she heard.
The room went quiet. Pretty sure I could hear crickets in my mind. Only me and my thoughts were here now. And the gummy bears of course.
I rip the gummy bears open, tearing at each side of the plastic. My fingers reach in the grab a few before eating them. I doubt these will ever not be my favourite sweets. Still tastes amazing.
I pull myself off my bed, using all the energy I have left, and turn on the radio. The immediate sound of Cool Girl by Tove Lo ignited abnormal rhythms from my body as I rocked around my room.
Thank God I was alone.
The song numbed any thoughts. I just wanted to push the sadness away, even though I knew I would have to confront it very soon.
Dancing over to my wardrobe, I whip open the doors to be faced with my very limited amount of clothes. I think I might change. What am I going to wear? I really could not be bothered to try on loads of outfits so I went with a simple pair of black leggings and a comfy, worn-out blue cardigan to go on top of my white t-shirt. I think I'm going to go on a walk, I haven't been out in weeks other than going to work at the local hairdresser's. It was almost autumn so I wouldn't be too cold or too warm outside. Finally, my red converse.
I quickly go to my desk that sits in front of my window. Makeup? No makeup? Argh. I decided to just dot a small amount of concealer under my eye to cover the bags from me watching the weirdest things at 1 am the night before. The video I found of someone training puppies made it all worth it though. Although, I think the KFC one will scar me for life. I also applied a dot on my chin to cover a small spot that decided to show up that morning. Great! I apply a light layer of mascara and a coat of lip balm. Done, because I just can't be bothered today.
I do the other basics; brushing my hair, a small spray of perfume, brushing my teeth. I gather my essentials such as my phone, keys, lip balm and pepper spray. No, I'm just kidding, I don't have pepper spray. I should, though, living in this world.
Even all these daily things were a step further towards my sanity. Maybe I should go out. I know the perfect spot.
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:) ayyy you've officially read the first chapter, pat yourself on the back...
