Cheering for The Marauders

Remus

AN: The song in this chapter belongs to Sweatcult and it is called If you wanna stay. I used it as one of Remus' songs but I credit them because the song is theirs. Sorry, I am no song writer and the lyrics fit so well with the situation.

Being in love in bloody Venice was a different experience. Specially if he was heartbroken about it. Peter knew. James knew. They didn't have a problem with that. So, what was the issue? Sirius didn't love him back. As simple as that.

"It was a relieve..." Sirius had said once they settled in the rooms. Same sleeping arrangements. "To tell James..."

They had explained to James that they were just friends, that they were figuring things out. That there were no feelings involved.

Well expect for Remus' very strong feelings.

"Hmm..." Remus was busy unpacking his insulin. Just in case he needed it in the night.

"I'm sorry that he said all that stuff about us being a couple" Sirius continued, now settling in his bed "You know how James is. Hopeless romantic... He is already planning his wedding with Evans..."

Remus closed his eyes in frustration. He was bloody tired of not knowing, of being confused. Remus was so in love with Sirius. And he just wanted to know if he felt the same. Or if he had only used him to get off in the Tour.

"Sirius..." he sighed turning to face him.

Sirius looked deliciously gorgeous lying in bed, without a shirt. His chest raising and falling according to his breathing. He had his eyes closed, arms behind his head. Remus could melt right there. Remus could eat Sirius' mouth until he was out of breath. Remus could trace every inch of Sirius' body for a million of times and never get tired. Remus could lie to himself. Pretend Sirius secretly loved him and that was enough. But no. That was unhealthy. And even though Remus didn't have the best self-teem, he needed to take care of himself.

"I'm in love with you" Remus said bravely

Sirius continued still, in the very same position. He opened his eyes slowly, his eyes blinking with those beautiful eyelashes. He let out some breath.

"Remus..." he murmured

"Oh, come on" Remus continued "It's is pretty obvious how I feel about you. You know. You know how I would die for you, how I would follow you anywhere..."

Remus' eyes filled with tears. Sirius sat up this time. His eyes full of concern, looking at Remus, trying to figure him out.

"I know we said this was just for fun" Remus sniffed "But I need to know what the fuck is going on..."

"Remus..."

"So yeah... I would want to be your boyfriend. Even if we have to hide for the rest of the world. And I want to be Prongs' bother in law" he snorted, now crying "I wish we could be something else than just buddies...or fuck buddies or whatever"

Sirius was on his feet now. Running his fingers through his hair. His expression was indescribable. Mostly confusion.

"Do you love me back?" Remus asked hopefully "Do you at least feel something for me?"

Sirius shook his head; his eyes were glittery as well.

"I don't know..." he said

Remus looked down. Disappointed. This was not the answer he was expecting.

"I have fun with you..." Sirius tried "You make me very happy... I can't seem to keep my hands away from you... I like kissing you, and touching you, just talking to you... And I love when we cuddle at night..."